Relentlessly Pursuing Happiness: Alex Fayle Interview - Part 2
By Alex Fayle

Who: Alex Fayle of Someday Syndrome
Alex is a writer on his way to becoming an author who followed a dream to France and followed love to Spain. He’s committed to helping people get rid of the word someday from their lives.

You can read the first part of the interview here.

What changed? Was it gradual or did it come as an epiphany?
I hated my job, I was in a non-functioning relationship that I was using to play victim, and I had cut out almost everyone who could push me in the direction I needed to go.

In 2003, having ended the relationship the year previously, I started my own business as a Professional Organizer, not because it was a great dream of mine, but only because no one else would hire me and I just had to get out of my loathsome job.

For the next two and a half years I dreamt of becoming the leading Professional Organizer in Canada, including a stint as President of the industry’s national association (Professional Organizers in Canada) and doing media appearances whenever I could.

And yet, I still wasn’t happy. I was working too hard for something I didn’t really want. But I didn’t know what else to do. I had a comfortable life and that comfort limited my ability to dream about true happiness.

It all changed when I started seeing a coach, Garry Schleifer (now publisher of choice, the magazine for coaching professionals choice). With his help, I realized how little I enjoyed running my own business as well as how little I wanted to return to a 9-5 job. Then I read the book The Comfort Trap by Judith Sills and saw myself in every page.

Finally, a friend and client who had sold everything to travel around the world asked me what my dream was. At first I refused to tell her, but she kept at me until I said: “I’ve always wanted to live in France and write.”

“So, why don’t you?” she asked.

I couldn’t answer her. I had no reason not to do it.

So I did. Within two weeks, my house was on the market and within ten weeks, I was on a plane to France

I’ve never looked back.

What dream are you in the process of realizing?
I’ve always wanted to earn a living off my writing. Right now, my non-fiction and client-focused writing does that mostly. I’ve written a novel that I’m shopping around to agents, started a second novel and have had success with some short fiction. And although I’m not in France, I’m still in Europe, just across the Spanish border in the Basque Country.

What deliberate choices did you make in your life? What were the consequences? Any unexpected ones?
I made radical changes in my life. Over a period of a year I sold or gave away almost everything I owned and settled in a foreign country (twice!). I’ve learned to be independent and to how to ask for help from others. I’ve found lvoe and for the first time in my life, I’m considering marriage in a realistic (i.e., non-prince-charming) manner. I’ve also lost weight, achieving externally the image of myself I always expected to see when I would look in the mirror.

Plus I’ve redefined all my relationships, making conscious choices about who I’ve kept in my life, choosing those who support my dreams and who welcome my support without sucking away my energy.

How would you describe your happiness level now?
I’ve never been happier in my life. Yes, I’m often frustrated by my slow acculturation to Spanish life and language and fiction rejections get me down, but neither of these things are negative enough to affect my overall happiness or to deter me from realizing my dreams.

What advice would you give someone in the position you were in before?
Don’t suppress your dreams. Don’t let fear or expectations rule your life. Take risks, sacrifice comfort and gain happiness.

And once you take the leap, continue to make conscious choices in every area of your life.

Someday Lessons:

• A comfortable life can act as a block to true happiness.
• Pursuing your dreams will ripple through the rest of your life, creating happiness in seemingly unrelated areas.

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