Something Crista said in her answers last week made me decide to switch gears from the emotional/mental Somedays to physical ones. Crista stated that she planned for a whole bunch of what-if situations for the three weeks she was going to be away at school, but when it came down to carrying the what-ifs and paying $100 extra, or leaving them behind, she pulled them out of her suitcase.
In my own situation, we have a small apartment and yet people keep buying us things – very nice things (like wine carafes and fancy Arabic tea glasses), but we don’t have room for them and the place is beginning to feel cluttered. I feel a major reorganization of the house coming up which will hopefully include getting rid of the things we don’t use.
The third reason for this week’s lesson has to do with Hurricanes Gustav, Hanna, and Ike. So many people in Haiti, Cuba and the southern United States are close to losing everything – again – they’re getting an enforced purge, with little time to decide what’s important.
So this week, it’s the Lab-Rats’ turn at purging. After reading my post from September 2006, Too Much Stuff, I asked them the following questions.
This week, poor Urbane Lion had troubles answering. His usual ordered, well thought out answers came through to me as a rant, a rationalization and three quick answers. Getting rid of things is tough for him despite knowing that life is better without most of it. He just likes having things around for possible reuse later, but I’ll let him explain that tomorrow. (He was brave enough, however, to include some photos of the current cluttered state of the Lion’s Den).
Sal, on the other hand whipped through the answers. Growing up with a packrat mother, Sal now has regular purge dates with his wife where they go through clearing out anything they don’t use. Brett and Crista, having slightly older kids, fit somewhere in the middle. Despite having a past of order and lack of clutter, they’ve accumulated more that necessary, but acknowledge that only a few things have meaning to them
Brett was the only one who had a specific sentimental item that he’d take out of the house with him. Everyone else felt that as long a family was safe and sound, they could rebuild their lives and reacquire stuff. Having grown up in hurricane zone, Sal lives in a prepared state for a quick exit.
Since Sal already gets rid of things regularly, getting rid of half of what they own would be difficult, but if they had to, he and his wife would do it and likely not miss it. Since Brett is planning a move to New Zealand, he and his wife have already mentally gotten rid of a whole bunch of stuff, deciding that if buying it in New Zealand is cheaper than shipping something, they’ll get rid of it in Canada then decide once they reach New Zealand if they really need it.
Crista admits that she wouldn’t miss it, but says that she’s a sentimental person (like many parents are), and so keeps a lot of stuff from her kids even if it all just sits in a box (tip to Crista: photograph it and write a note about the object, saving the memory instead of the thing). Going back to school and living in a small dorm room, Crista’s learning just how much isn’t necessary.
The Urbane Lion also in a transition state. With the Urban Panther moving the last of her stuff in, he has to make room (with which the cats have helped by peeing in the junk room). While the Lion bemoans the loss of things he might have gotten around to using in the future, he realizes that having a happy comfortable Panther is the better option.
Everyone said that they wouldn’t miss most of what they own, which really says something to me about our consumer culture. Why do we have so much stuff? I’m the same. I’m always careful about what I buy (from a budget and non-clutter point of view), and yet I keep collecting things for no reason than to have them. For example, before my birthday Raul asked me what I wanted if people asked him. I told him nothing. I didn’t need anything from people as I didn’t want to fill up the house more, and really I was happy as is. But he insisted and I relented, listing some movies and some music. And so, people gave me gifts – not because I was dying to get them, but because it made everyone happy to go through the gift-giving ritual. Myself included, because honestly, who doesn’t enjoy unwrapping presents?
Someday Lessons
22 Responses to “Our Lives Are Full of Stuff”
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OMG Alex! Didn’t think you were going to put up the pics! LOL Now people are going to get all judgemental on me
Urbane Lion’s last blog post..She said, he said, YOU SAY!
@Lion
No, don’t worry. They are going to relate to you, Lion, especially since they all know that you are going through a transition with the merging of the two households. It always gets worse before it gets better.
C’mon folks - tell the Lion you’re not judging him!
Don’t worry Lion, believe me - you’ve got to see our basement!
(Imagine laundry for 6 people… a desk with usually three or four computers on it… ack!)
Brett Legree’s last blog post..george a. romero, inc.
This post is so in tune what goes through my head right now. Let me tell you that our house is full of sh*t. I’ve just finished reading the 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss and my god do we so need to concentrate on the 80/20 principle.
Clutter is taking over and worst of all, it clutters up the mind. But between garage sales, donations and eBay we should be able to flog most of it over the next 6 months.
Lap rat messiness, hehehe, who said rats were organized anyway.
Monika Mundell’s last blog post..The World Is Still Turning!
You would not believe the state the Lion was in over this assignment. I think it really hit a raw nerve *giggle*
Last night, I took ALL the food items out of the very cluttered pantry and sorted likes with likes. Then I added the food from the apartment. Then I put most of it back into the pantry, likes with likes. It was soooo satisfying. I left the Lion with 2 tasks: deal with the spices; deal with the questionable out of date items. He jumped in all gung ho. YA BABY! He was all over it. For exactly 3 minutes. Then he curled up on the couch with the Little Lion to watch TV. This morning…food items still all over the table. Conclusion? He just doesn’t have it in him.
Urban Panther’s last blog post..Sugar and salt, it ain’t my fault!
GASP!! Those pics are real?! I had a heart attack when I saw them, and I was thinking, aw, he probably just searched “messy house” on google images or something!!
I very happily wage war on clutter. It’s definitely in me to purge. I love it.
More on this at my own blog soon when I answer your questions! These ones, thank God, are easy.
steph’s last blog post..Finding Your Voice – And Sticking with It
PS. Your Too Much Stuff post was hilarious!
@Steph - in the Lion’s defense, all the stuff in the hall is mine from my apartment. Trust me, it will find a home, AND SOON. The desk pic though, oh ya, that’s Lion territory. *chuckle*
Urban Panther’s last blog post..Sugar and salt, it ain’t my fault!
@Panther: I was spending quality time with my son AND putting away all those board games you moved in. I just switched from spices to board games that’s all! You see, you need to look at the big picture….!
Urbane Lion’s last blog post..She said, he said, YOU SAY!
@Lion - You put away the board games?! Mea culpa, darling, mea culpa. I’ll make it up to you. *grin*
Urban Panther’s last blog post..Sugar and salt, it ain’t my fault!
I could make you all feel better and send in a picture of my office. No matter how clean my house is, my office looks like the hurricane came over for dinner. The whole family suffers from “Where should we put this?” “I know! Mom’s office!” Then there is the *empty* bedroom in the finished basement which is very laughable because it’s the farthest thing from empty and looks like a storage room for my oldest son who moved out years ago…….
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post..The Power of Your Secret Weapon
Hi Alex,
You have hit the nail on the head, “stuff expands to fill available space”. This reminds me of how we say, “we need a bigger house” (with lots of storage, of course) for our stuff.
I think back to the days when I lived in a tiny studio apartment, owned very little, but was content. The years went by, the places got bigger, and just like the statement about stuff expanding to fill the available space, that held true for me. I have to ask, why do we do that?
I’ve been on a “decluttering kick” this year and now find I can let go of most of the stuff and living life more simply is helping to make me feel “freer”.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..NBOTW - Putting His Spin On It
I figured if my house ever caught fire, the most important things I’d want to save are my family photo albums, and my watercolor paintings.
The rest of the stuff is just….STUFF. It can be replaced.
Friar’s last blog post..More Travels with the Bear in Northern Ontario
@Brett
heh heh. I saw your monster laundry pile yesterday.
Sherpas were setting up Camp 4 near the summit.
Friar’s last blog post..More Travels with the Bear in Northern Ontario
@Friar,
Yeah… I should take a pile of it, and send it to Alex. It might make Lion feel better
Brett Legree’s last blog post..george a. romero, inc.
Hi Alex - Stuff is a nuisance - but like u say it accumulates because people give you presents. And if you have kids it’s even worse.
Befor we emigrate we’re going to get rid of everything except clothes and pictures. We didn’t plan on doing that at first but I read on Tina’s Think Simple Now blog that she had done it and her life felt so much better because of it.
Hi, first time reader here, courtesy of Monica, nice blog! Cath - actually leave the clothes too -unless you aren’t moving far - if you are changing climate you will be surprised how much your wardrobe will change:-). We put everything in storage: lived in a tent for 6 months while camping around Ausralia and then got a semi-furnished flat. We haven’t shipped anything from home and ever buying decision is pre-ceded with - what will we do with it? So far there is nothing that will get shipped home bar the 2nd laptop we bought and a few DVD’s and books. If you think you need it - you don’t
lissie’s last blog post..Google Censors the Internet
I lived in a bigger apartment than I do now and I had to get rid of a lot of stuff when I moved. However, I still have work to do. I think it’s because I’ve become more and more aware that a lot of what I own are things I don’t really use or need. As they say, the first step is realizing that you have a problem
I am decluttering pretty systematically though, so hopefully in two months or so I should be living in a completely clutter-free zone.
Marelisa’s last blog post..30 Tips for Getting Along With Others
I LOVE to declutter - the physical act of puring stuff also cleanses the mind. I have regular clean outs - perhaps 3 or 4 a year. I also try to be more mindful about what I bring into my living space.
I’m going to have to move some time in the near future and the only thing I’m looking forward to about moving is seeing how much more stuff I can get rid off.
@Monika
So many people are talking about the 4-hour Work Week. I’m subscribed to the blog - I should read the book. He’s all about delegation, no? And using labour from countries where the rates for work are much lower. I think I need to read the book just to understand that more because it sounds a bit like sweatshopping on a micro-scale…
@UP
Unfortunately organizing often doesn’t work as a delegated task - it has to be something people *want* to do for it to work. And as the UL has said, he was getting along fine with the way it was - and until the “pain point” is reached, doing the extra work doesn’t seem worthwhile.
@Steph
It’s amazing how cluttered a picture can make a place seem. If you were actually in the house living there, I bet you’d hardly even notice it. Photographs are really unforgiving.
And I’m glad you liked the Too Much Stuff post. Sometimes tough love is important.
@UL
Board games are much more interesting that organizing spices. With disorganized spices think of the creative combinations that you can come up with by having to open jars and peer around for what you want to add!
@Wendi
The home office often becomes a dumping ground because it’s the room guests don’t go into. Plus it’s the room the least associated with the house. Home Office sounds almost like an oxymoron. Try renaming the room to “den” or “study” (or even better “Mom’s Sacred Space”) and you might find that you put fewer things into it that aren’t supposed to be there.
@Barbara
When I lived in a house of 1000 sq ft alone, I thought sometimes that it was too small. Now I live in 1/4 of that size with someone else and yes it is too small but it works for the most part (I can’t have a bike and not all the clothes go away, but it’s functional and inexpensive).
It’s amazing how freeing getting rid of stuff is. Last year my car was robbed and I was actually relieved - suddenly I didn’t have to make decisions about my stuff anymore.
@Friar
My dad keeps his watercolours in his study in the basement. You made me realize that perhaps we should encourage him to find a more accessible spot because of all the things that are “family” those would be what I’d miss the most.
@Brett
NO THANK YOU! Laundry is my dreaded household chore. Hate it (he says having just hung the laundry out, grumbling the entire time he did so).
@Cath
Tina’s blog is great for that kind of thing, isn’t it? (http://www.thinksimplenow.com for those who don’t know it - Tina does great mini-ebooks in her posts).
@Lissie
Welcome! Great to see you here. I got rid of books by putting them in storage for a while. It gave me time away from them without having to commit in the moment to streamlining them. It’s like a test-run on getting rid of stuff.
@Marelisa
Good for you on the clutter-free zone goal. I find it’s a constant challenge to keep the clutter from sliding in under the door, through cracks around the window, up the drain pipe…
@Glee Girl
You are such a wonderfully positive person. So many people dread moving. I love that you have turned it around and see it as a joyous time - streamlining your life and keep only what is essential and precious. Well done!
I loved the pictures
Growing up my parents were depression era people so we saved everything. I inherited it all. About 3 years ago I decided to downsize from the 4 bedroom house (about 2000 sq ft) to a one bedroom (750 sq ft) Condo. This is where it comes to a head. Deciding what was “stuff” and what was of “value”.
In the end I took the necessities and the things I couldn’t part with (pictures of the family). I gave away everything else. I allowed myself one piece of fanciful remembrance of the past…the family piano (I don’t play). It was cathartic after the move of not having so much stuff. Before the move…I was having a stroke, lol. Good luck with your adventure.
Hi Alex. My desk is pretty clutter free. I’m a very efficient kind of worker and get frustrated easily when I work in an unorganized manner.
This post reminds me of something my pastor once said. He spoke on living a simple life. The simpler your life, the less stress you have and the more time you have for you and your family.
Of course there’s more to it than that, but I definitely believe simpler is better.