Nicole Stevens, aka the Minimalist Mommy, is a mommy-blogger with a sharp wit and a strong desire to make life simple and organized for her whole family. I met Niki when I started writing scripts for the Organizing Connection and have enjoyed her input into the scripts and related ebooks - she’s the one that ensures each piece stays real and connected to the people who need the help.
Who: Nicole Stevens of The Organizing Connection
I am a stay at home mom to two beautiful boys living a simplified life on a large horse farm.
What variety of Someday Syndrome affected you the most? In what way?
I would have to say “I’ll get around to it someday.”
How did it affect the rest of your life?
I put off starting a family thinking I would miss out on something
How would you describe your happiness level at that time?
As if there was something missing. Because I could not pinpoint what exactly “that” was I ended up buying things to fill the void.
Did the other varieties of Someday Syndrome appear in your life as well?
There was an abundance of clutter taking over my life. My husband and I lived in a home with all kinds of material things. Once we became a family of three these “things” were preventing me from being able to stay home with my child. Once we gave up all of this unnecessary stuff and the status of home ownership by moving in with my parents on their homestead a whole new world opened up for us. This allowed me to comfortably stay home with my children, eliminating the hassle of rushing to work in the morning or finding the best possible day care, they are with me, what better situation could there be?
What changed? Was it gradual or did it come as an epiphany? Perhaps a mix the two?
I would have to say it was gradual. We struggled to start our family and in the midst of that journey I had an epiphany of sorts. We were so close to realizing our dream of becoming pregnant and in an instant it was jeopardized, I realized at that moment how badly I needed this and vowed to give up everything about myself and focus all of my attention on my family and my baby
What dream are you in the process of realizing?
Living for the moment. I tend to live three steps ahead and often times find myself missing out on the small glorious events. Every day my children grow up need me a little less, that is when I realize how truly precious time is.
How would you describe your happiness level now?
So happy it hurts. Not long ago, I found myself riding my beautiful new horse in our outdoor riding ring while the warm sun shone down. My children were being pushed on their swing set by a wonderful man I have the honor of calling my husband. My mother, who is my best friend, was watering one of the many gardens as my father fixed a go cart for my son. In that very instant I literally started to cry and wondered if others could possibly be as happy as I in that very moment.
What advice would you give someone in the position you were in before?
Don’t put your dreams on hold and don’t settle for something because others say it should make you happy. If you really want to stay single, stay single, it only means you don’t need others to bring you true happiness. If you don’t want kids, that’s fine! do what makes you happy. One word of caution is to ensure you don’t envy, hurt, lie or cheat others to make yourself happier. If you find yourself doing any of those things chances are you are not, you are only fooling yourself. For me, true happiness means I am truly content regardless of stuff happening around me, good or bad.
Someday Lessons:
9 Responses to “The Simple Life: Nicole Stevens Interview”
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Very true about the shopping thing. I don’t think I’ve really bought anything (aside from replacing clothes that have worn out) in 18 months. Not little things. The Lion and I have put a lot of money and sweat into home renovations, but that brings us pure joy. Otherwise, something really has to grab my attention now to cause me to buy it.
Urban Panther´s last blog post..You may mock me if you wish
Great interview Alex & Nicole…
“So happy it hurts.”
I wish I felt like that all the time, I love your positivity though. I’ve been in that zone a few times and definitely want the feeling back, although deep down I know there is nothing I need to happen to feel it, i just need to allow it
Stumbled
Cheers,
Glen
Glen Allsopp´s last blog post..How I Went from Nobody to Industry Expert
Hey. Great post. This is my first time over. Thank you for sharing this. I have my moments where life could not get any better. I also know, for me, those days are random. I do have a great deal to be thankful for. It is nice to read about others that can truly say they are blessed and happy.
Tammy Warren´s last blog post..Was that a compliment? Think about it.
It’s very inspiring to read about someone living a great life on their own terms. That homestead with the horses and the gardens sounds absolutely beautiful. I know that there’s something missing from my life whenever I start getting strange food cravings. I have to tell myself: it’s not food that you want it’s something else, what is it. I think two thirds of the battle is just being able to identify what it is that you want, then you can go out and get it
I love those moments– “so happy that it hurts.” I had one of those moments over the summer and I’m striving for more of them.
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@UP
Good for you. I don’t buy much either and yet money slips away because I love to eat at restaurants and we love to entertain, so I end up spending money but I don’t collect too much stuff.
@Glen & @Karen
I know what you mean - I have those moments, but then I let myself get all riled up with details and worries and I lose the sensation. I do try to recreate it when I’m really stressed and often I’m able to get somewhat close to the feeling, but usually it comes spontaneously.
@Tammy
Welcome! Glad to see you and I hope to see more of you. It is a wonderful feeling to read about the happiness of others. It would be so easy to let ourselves feel bitter and envious, but what for? Happiness isn’t finite - it grows without limits.
@Marelisa
The homestead does sound wonderful - not my choice for living, but wonderful for visiting. And I think you’re right - being able to identify true wants and not cravings is the key to achieving happiness and dreams.
What a wonderful interview. Truly. Nicole sounds like she’s found her bliss and that’s a beautiful thing.
I particularly like what she said here:
“One word of caution is to ensure you don’t envy, hurt, lie or cheat others to make yourself happier.”
So many people say if we all made ourselves happy we’d all be out there screwing each other over and what would the world come to. But the reality is we are never REALLY happy if we cheat others to get what we want. We may put on a front to the world that this is the price to be paid _ every man for himself etc - but I believe we carry the knowledge of our wrong acts inside and they eat away at us eventually.
I love inspiring stories of people who figure out what is really important to them in life.
Kelly
Hi Alex - I loved this interview. It sounds like Nicole really turned her whole life round once she realized what she wanted and worked out how to get it.
This is a real inspiration to us all. An what she said about doing what makes us happy, instead of what folk tell us will make us happy is really important.
@Kelly
Good point there - sometimes it seems like there are a lot of people out there who are indeed happy screwing others over, but I guess it really depends on what you define as happiness. My version of happiness is like yours and like Nicole’s.
@Cath
I’ve been reading Daniel Gilbert’s Stumbling on Happiness and he says that research shows that sometimes we are happier when we do what others tell us to, but I couldn’t do that. I’d rather be slightly unhappy making my own choices than a blissful sheep (but then again, I’ve always been slight contrary).