While I’m away I’m dropping the Lab-Rats in a new set of mazes. We’re done for now with thought out, reasoned responses. Now we’re going for the first-thoughts - what comes up without taking time to consider the answers.
And just how am I doing that? By not giving the Lab-Rats the questions beforehand. They’re seeing this post for the first time with you. And their answers will appear in the comments.
Will they find the cheese at the end of the maze? That’s up to you to decide. I’m including you all in the experiment as well while I’m gone. Since I’m not putting together a summary of the Lab-Rat answers, how about you all give it a try for me?
And now to layout the labyrinth.
As I mentioned last week, I like to start things but have a hard time finishing them. My house in Toronto was without quarterround between the baseboards and the floor for years (almost right up until I moved). My post Change Junkie describes my love of switching things up all the time and why. And it includes how I deal with this desire to change all the time. So, once the Lab-Rats (and you) have read the post, they’ll come back and answer these questions:
Someday Lessons:
23 Responses to “Addicted to Change”
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I couldn’t find the Change Junkie post - but here’s my answers!
When I was a kid I used to shift all my bedroom furniture round every few months because it started to wind me up where it was. I guess I just needed to exert some control over my surroundings. I still like to do it today however, but I have to ok it with Glyn first!
Change I don’t like? Hmmm, change that is imposed rather than organic. Other than that, I’d only really resist change if I couldn’t see the benefits of it - I love changing things up. Too much at once is a bad idea, but otherwise sign me up!
I guess my coping mechanisms for too little change would be the furniture thing - it’s not like it’s really the furniture that’s bugging me, I’m sure. If there’s too much change I tend to just slow everything down. Postpone anything that can wait and do the minimum so that I can process what is going on.
I heart change!
James | Dancing Geek´s last blog post..Should I bother voting if I don’t like any of the options?
I seek personal change because I can’t change those around me, even if I exert my psycokenetic powers, they only work for so long (everyone else who believes in psycokenesis, please raise my hand).
I tend to resist personal change that is difficult. I am ambitiously lazy. For instance, I know I need to get back into working out, it has gotten a bit out of hand since the kiddos were born, but I always put it off because there are honey-do lists, and taking the kids to activities, and work, and more honey-do lists.
I usually work in extremes. I will get to a point of no change, get frustrated with it (read myself) and go on a change rampage for a couple of months, then go back to slacking off. The cycle has continued almost my entire life.
Any thoughts?
Sal´s last blog post..Just Go Away Already
I admit it, I’m a change addict. I moved around a lot as a kid and I credit my need for change on this. If you were to talk to a couple of my sisters, they’d say the moving created a high need for consistency and they hate change so I guess we all respond differently. The one place I do limit change is in my relationships. I’ve been married for 16 years this month, and I have a strong relationship with my family. On the other hand, I do tend to change directions in my career about every five years. I’d gladly pick up my life and move anywhere in the world. Unfortunately, my husband and my son don’t quite feel the same way as I do. (My other two children seem to be more open to the adventures change brings…) So, in the absence of being able to change things up as often as I’d like, I move furniture around. A lot. I paint walls every year. I rotate curtains. I return to school. I do a lot of things I can control, because like Sal, I find it so difficult to change others, as much as I’d like to try…
Couldn’t find the post either but the questions are pretty clear.
I seek changes when I am bored or unhappy. As I’m the type to get bored easily, I seek change fairly often. No need for a big change, small ones will do. Switch the furniture around, get new clothes or go out, buy a food item I’ve never tried before or visit a new place and learn from it. As I am a very resilient person and welcome changes with open arms, I rarely need to resist change. I will only resist when it will have a negative effect on myself or my loved ones. Question is, will the negative effect be short lived but have a very positive spin in the long run? Needs to be though out thoroughly.
When there’s too little change in my life, I provoke it! Again, doesn’t need to be much. When the change is overwhelming, I retreat and take it in bit by bit. Better to take change by the hand before it grabs you by the throat!
Found it!
http://someday.typepad.com/blog/2006/12/a_change_junkie.html
(Good old Google…)
I’m glad I found it and read it because Alex and I seem similar in many ways. I run the risk of becoming bored - unless my set task is to do absolutely nothing! Then I’m okay…
Anyway, to answer the questions:
I seek changes that excite me, that challenge me to learn new things of interest at my own pace, that enable me to use my skills to the fullest to help other people. Sometimes the more difficult, the better.
I resist changes that are brought on to satisfy other people’s agendas when it is clear to me that the change does nothing BUT satisfy the agenda of that one person. I do not like to be a pawn in someone else’s game, even if it could benefit me - for if it could benefit me, I’d like to be the one steering the ship!
If I am in the midst of too little change - I talk with someone new - I read a book - I take apart the blender - play with the kids - pick up a new sport - call a friend. Anything to stimulate my brain. And usually I end up with a pen and paper in hand at the end of it, feverishly scribbling down yet another maniacal business plan…
If there is too much change - I will write it out - what can I control, what can I not control. Try to work on what I can control - set aside the rest if it won’t harm me - ask for help if it will.
(note - the system is not perfect, and sometimes it just requires a complete reboot or unplugging from the world with a glass of wine!)
Brett Legree´s last blog post..still doing crazy things…
Oops! I’ve fixed the link…
It’s also here http://somedaysyndrome.com/journey/?p=88
Brett: Ooooh…. things will get definately ugly the day we get together! We think very much alike and things can get pretty scary when we get bored! Nothing is safe!
Lion,
That’s what I’m thinking… and having chatted with Panther and knowing my Cathryn, I think they’ll be swapping stories and we’ll be sleeping in the shed!
Nothing is safe indeed - we must really get together soon.
Brett Legree´s last blog post..still doing crazy things…
This is funny to me, how timely this is, considering we’ve been chatting about change (change is goooood, mkay?) over at my blog.
The changes I seek are usually with regard to what my living space looks like, my hair, purging belongings, my blog theme, anything to switch things up a bit. I love major change, too, but it generally has to be something I see as positive, of course.
The change I resist has to do with loss of any kind, whether loss of a person or pet, stability or income, possessions that are dear, or loss of freedom of any kind. I also don’t love loss of dignity or control. I’m not good with loss, period, and it’s really difficult for me to focus on possible positive outcomes from this kind of change, such as growth and strength.
How do I deal with too little change? I get antsy and frustrated and feel the need for something drastic. I’ve cut off all my hair or suddenly quit my job. It’s forcing myself out of my comfort zone to start passionately or intensely feeling something again.
How I deal with extreme change depends on what it is. If change is really drastic, like the time my first husband left me without warning, I push through really hard. I have to allow myself some tender moments, but generally, I keep shovelling hard. If the way is clear, and there’s little unknown, it’s easy in some ways.
Sometimes, I face change that’s so drastic and scary because most of what it entails is so unknown that I start obsessing or go into total flight mode. In the end, though, I push through again. I don’t like discomfort and have little tolerance for it, so I will keep trying to exert control, to find a place I can be without fear. I know trying to control everything isn’t necessarily always great, but I’ll just keep making choices until I get what I want or where I want to be.
steph´s last blog post..I Mentioned Change, Right?
Reading over my comment, I see the contradictions, e.g., hating discomfort and always seeking it but also readily uprooting myself, sometimes majorly, when I get antsy or too comfortable.
What are my someday lessons? Change is necessary in order to keep passion — and perhaps our dreams, then — in our lives. Also, seemingly negative change may bring us closer to fulfilling our goals by pushing us to make choices to make the situation positive.
steph´s last blog post..I Mentioned Change, Right?
I get antsy when things are mundane. I generally don’t really do anything drastic to mix things up. I change my hairstyle. I go buy a new article of clothing. I struggle at work, because I generally work myself out of full work days by managing my projects so well. Seriously! I end up with no fires to put out, and in government, the only real work is putting out fires. So, I try to switch roles, but the higher up you go, it seems the less mobility you have. Sigh. Writing, however, is really my change outlet. I pick different topics to write about, and find different types of writing opportunities.
BTW, I laughed out loud when reading the following comment by the Urbane Lion: When there’s too little change in my life, I provoke it!
@Urbane Lion - you sure do provoke it…or me
@Brett - do you really want to get us two ladies together? Perhaps the party is a good idea because we won’t be able to get into the meatier subjects *grin*
Urban Panther´s last blog post..Introducing the Lion Family
@Panther,
Eh, why not? Sometimes the best way to have fun is to do something completely opposite of common sense!
Brett Legree´s last blog post..still doing crazy things…
Brett: But isn’t that what they do all day long at the Widget Factory?
steph´s last blog post..I Mentioned Change, Right?
@steph,
Hmm… you have a point there - maybe that’s why they do it, to watch us squirm?
Sadistic buggers!
Brett Legree´s last blog post..still doing crazy things…
Hi Alex,
I didn’t start this from the beginning so I will have to take off from here..
The Change I Seek Out - I need to physically move from place to place so I can see things from another perspective. I’m talking Internationally. And if I can’t move globally, well…see below.
What Types of Change Do I Resist - I’m afraid to let go of the past. I hold on to things I should let go - experiences, people, etc. I play it over and over…
Maybe I think it will let me live forever if I don’t forget. Unconsciously that’s probably it, or it’s a stupid old habit. Probably both.
How I deal with too little or too much? - From my perspective I deal better with too much change. Too much change? I kick start into okay, I can save the day or anyone mode. But, if I get bored, there’s too little change, then I become self destructive - bitchy, pessimistic. Just nasty. I’m not a good person too be around.
I like change. But then I don’t. I’m not solid in my feelings.
Ellen Wilson´s last blog post..Happy Pigs Play in the Mud
I’ve always thought of myself as a change junkie, probably because like Crista I’ve moved around a lot in my life. I went to something like 12-15 schools, I changed countries, states, cities, and got so used to moving I just kept the habit up in adulthood. My itchy feet have taken me backpacking across Europe, Mexico, Central America, and some of Asia and I don’t think I will ever stop taking long haul trips.
That said, post 30 I have become really tired of moving house and I don’t want my son to have the instability I did. So I think we will intersperse holidays and sabbaticals with living in our current location. Hopefully this will give me the variety I crave and the security I want for my son.
I also welcome change in my career and personal goals. I am always learning something and have an undergrad degree and two different post grad qualifications. I have never had a job that lasted more than 2 years and I’ve been everything from a product manager and marketing consultant to a receptionist to an ESL teacher, and now a copywriter/freelance writer.
Where I don’t like change is in my relationships. I’ve been with my husband for 12 years and most of my friendships are 18-23 years old. Problems in this area stress me out a lot and can totally send me into anxiety and depression.
How I cope with extreme change depends on where it is. Work/house/travel, I welcome it or adjust and deal. In my personal life I freak out, turn to drink and fall to pieces. Then when I get tired of that I pull myself up and keep on moving.
No change sees me get bored and pick fights, throw myself into a new passion with alarming intensity and sometimes I’ll even start making radical off-the-cuff decisions like “let’s sell our house and move to Mexico”.
Life is never dull with me. I pity my husband sometimes.
Kelly
Kelly@SHE-POWER´s last blog post..Quote of the Week: Love Across The Miles
@Urban Panther - “to get into the meatier subjects *grin*” - totally got an image of your panther persona there
@Kelly - I would agree about relationship change. It’s the relationships I have that give me the stability and security to change everything else around so much. If relationships start to change, everything else goes on hold.
James | Dancing Geek´s last blog post..Learn about your fear from rabbits
@Kelly, When I read about you and your adventures I got such pangs of jealousy. How I would love to travel to so many places and create a path of change wherever I go! I also pity my husband sometimes, but then again, life with me (like you) is not so boring. Because there is so much stability in my life, I feel like I’m not giving my children the opportunities changes could bring them. (I’ve been in the same place for 16 years! Prior to that, a move at least every two years.)I’ve learned to try and add change in my life where it doesn’t affect the whole family, but even when I change my hair color(monthly) it messes up my youngest son. It is only recently that I have embraced the change gene. Why is it people make you feel bad - like you can’t commit - when you enjoy/appreciate change? And why is it we change folk attract the most change-resistant people into our own lives?
One final note. Alex, thanks for changing up this week’s format. I really appreciate it!
@Crista It’s interesting you mention how we changeaholics bring change-resistant people into our lives. I’ve often wondered how my partner & I are together when even the slightest change is a source of such trepidation for him.
It seems that over the years we’ve been together we’ve brought each other balance and a new perspective. I’ve learnt to see when change is just for changes sake and appreciate the value of ritual & stability. He has learnt how to allow more new experiences into his life and expand his comfort zone.
Don’t know that it always applies, but I consider myself very lucky with my guy.
James | Dancing Geek´s last blog post..Turning a lifelong fear into strength
I cannot find anything in my life that has not changed. Though I think if you ask any one of my dear friends or family members they will say that the things about me that endear me to them are constant. At least that’s how I feel about them. I’m guessing it’s the spirit. I have almost mastered the art of letting go. My belongings are just stuff and my surroundings are places in my life’s adventure and who knows what tomorrow will bring me. I accept changes and some are easier to accept than others.
I happen to be with someone who is very ritualistic and never changes. I struggle a lot trying to keep in harmony with this. Sad to say harmony isn’t really reached and this one will probably be let go. So be it. It’s just how some things are.
I am a change junkie. I have been married three times, moved probably thirty times,changed jobs at least 15 times, been in and out of school countless times.My dad used to call it ramblin fever..Blames himself for my boredom with normal life.But surely there is a cure. My latest spouse of ten years is a good man but his resistance to change and my need for an adrenaline rush is tearing us apart.Does anyone know a cure for this ramblin fever.I need help.
@Becca
Instead of curing it, channel it. It’s who you are. How about reading the book Refuse to Choose? You might find something in that which will help you turn your desire for new things all the time into something that allows you to keep the stability that appeals to you (ie, your husband) but gives you the excitement that the change demon wants. Good luck!
When i was 10-12 i couldent go a week without change i died my hair from blonde to red and then to black, then to brown n then to dirty blonde. n changed my style every month or so.