My first exposure to Spain (and Spanish men) happened over New Year’s 2006/2007. My friend Cate came to visit me and we did Paris for Christmas and Barcelona for New Year’s. That was when I fell in love with Spain.
I also learned something important during that trip. It allowed me, after my first date with Raul, to offer to go to Madrid with him for EuroPride, even though we’d just met. I didn’t analyze; I just acted. And I learned it here: Whirlwind Barcelona Boyfriends.
Once the Lab-Rats had read that post, I asked them to answer the following:
You’ll notice the similarity in questions 2 & 3 to questions I posed to the Lab Rats earlier (here and here). Take a look at the answers now and then – did the change in perspective change the answers or did the Lab Rats stay consistent?
BTW, the Urbane Lion is sick, so is off the hook this week. I’m sure everyone joins me in wishing him well.
Sal mixes his analysis with being in moment. Nothing is analyzed as it happens; it just is. Later he’ll think about the experience and either savour it (good ones) or learn from them (bad ones).
Brett (not surprisingly) is a total in-the-moment guy. I’ll use his words to share his favourite “just is” moment:
When we took the ferry from Auckland to Waiheke in August 2007, it was raining lightly, but it was warm. I stood up at the front of the ferry boat, on the top deck - outside. Just because I wanted to feel the spray and take it all in. I think a lot of folks thought I was nuts, my wife included. But I didn’t care, as that memory will stay with me forever - and you know, I’ll do it again, when I return.
Crista is more like me (as if we didn’t know that already) and in emotional situations she will overanalyze. Being aware of this tendency, however, she usually ends up choosing the opposite of the result her analysis has rationalized.
In business settings Crista uses her analytical skills to her advantage because she will think of things that others don’t see and it has prevented some bad decisions, but it’s been a learned skill for her. She’s jumped too quickly in the past and has landed in an empty pool before. On the positive side, this jumping-tendency makes Crista adventurous and she’s able to walk blind into a situation and make the most of it.
Sal is learning to plan less. He can now enjoy spontaneity and almost looks forward to it. The hardest part is letting himself go and not worry. Fortunately he can at least hold his wife’s hand while walking blind to keep himself from freaking out completely.
In this case, I’m with Brett who uses the phrase for a former professor: “optimum sloppiness”. Think about the problem, the choices, what needs to be done, potential outcomes, and then do it. For small things it’s usually a flash decision, for larger things, more thought. I’ve always called it being “efficiently lazy” which was a term a former math teacher used all the time, but it amounts to the same thing: figuring out the minimum effort for the maximum gain.
Crista used this lesson to do something impulsive this week. She was driving home from somewhere and considered seeing her grandmother who’d been sick. It meant a 40 minute drive out of her way, and she started analyzing the pros and cons, but then she thought of this lesson, and went. She had a great time and really appreciated spending a few hours with her grandmother.
Sal had been feeling wary about marrying his wife, due to a recent divorce and was totally over-analyzing everything about the relationship. He then realized that such a decision had nothing to do with pros and cons. It was all about the heart. He loved his now-wife and knew there was no reason not to marry her. So he went out and bought the ring and on December 23rd, they’ll be celebrating their 3rd anniversary. Likewise Brett went against his nature by going to a party in 1996 where he knew almost no one and ended up meeting his wife.
6 Responses to “Can You Just Enjoy a Moment?”
Leave a Reply
Please join in the conversation and leave a comment - I’d love to hear from you!
var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www.");
document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));
Hi Alex, taking a spontaneous moment to dance in celebration - ok back now.
Those split decisions (because even spontaneity is a decision) offer up some of the best times in life! While there is a need to plan, I think it’s important to be open to the moment and just doing! As always, rocking, inspiring post that has me dancing and singing. Can you sit on my shoulder today and just keep feeding me joy and inspiration? 
Karen Swim´s last blog post..What you Talking ‘bout Willis?
Karen - could you be any sweeter?
“efficiently lazy” - I think that’s my life motto
James | Dancing Geek´s last blog post..Heads up on the move
@Karen
Aw shucks! But you’ve just given me a great product idea - little Alex Dolls that clip to your shoulder and whisper inspirational Someday Lessons in your ear.
@Crista
I love having fans like Karen - she always makes my day!
@James
Given your lazy series, yes I’d say this is your motto…
As a decision maker I tend to weigh the big things up awhile before acting. I am a risk taker, but I analyse the risk first. That said, I do like to throw spontaneity into the mix in how I live my day-to-day life. I enjoy the moment and appreciate the connections I have, and do like to be spur of the moment and get a little crazy. Actually, that’s what I miss since all my friends started having kids; everyone gets so planned and doesn’t ‘do’ crazy anymore.
Have I ever made a big decision spur-of-the-moment and contrary to nature? Yes, I quit a job after a terrible day on the tail of many other terrible days. It turned out very well though because it forced me to become more flexible in my career and gather more skills. It also broke me free from my fixation with the status and money of my marketing career, and opened the door for me to pursue the life I had always wanted. I changed my career, travelled the world and have never looked back from that decision. So, I guess I should be spontaneous in the big decisions more often
Kelly
@Kelly
I know what you mean about the kids - I have a friend in Toronto who in one her groups of friends is the only childless one and she finds getting together with the child-attached ones next to impossible unless she plans plans plans.
Yay to the spontaneous job-quitting. What a Someday-busting moment, eh?