Editor: This is a guest post by Amy Derby of Write from Home fame.
Me? I lay down around midnight (sometimes). Think about Dave Navarro (because of his Early Riser program… not for other reasons). And await my nightly visit from the Thought Fairy.
Here’s how that goes:
Thought Fairy: Pssst… Are you sleeping?
Me: [dramatic sigh] No…
Fairy: Oh good. So there’s this thing you should do next week but you’ve forgotten what it was. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with tomatoes, which is weird because you don’t like tomatoes. But you need to remember, because it’s really important. You should go back to writing things down. Why can’t you be the type of person who likes lists? Didn’t you read Nick Cernis’ Todoodlist? Why aren’t you doing that? Remember that one time at band camp…
Me: I never went to band camp. I just played clarinet.
Fairy: Whatever. So anyway, tomatoes. Yeah. Did you write that article about the salmonella outbreak?
Me: Yes.
Fairy: Well you should write a better one. And then you should also write about that petition to Obama on food safety.
Me: Hold on. I need a pen…
Fairy: Ready now? Ok. And then you should probably also redesign that food safety blog you haven’t updated in a year. And after that don’t you want to start a new blog about lemons? Because that would rock. A lot of people get food poisoning from lemons and no one’s ever thought to write a blog about that. You should do it. Then you’d be the Lemon Goddess.
Me: I don’t want to be the Lemon Goddess.
Fairy: But you’d make a great Lemon Goddess. You would look really good in yellow and you could wear a crown.
Me: I don’t like clowns.
Fairy: Not clowns. Crowns.
Me: Oh, sorry. I don’t like crowns either.
Fairy: Yeah, you’d look funny in a crown. How long has it been since you trimmed your hair? You should really do that now. There won’t be time tomorrow.
Me: It’s night. [points to the window] See? We should be sleeping. We have twelve hours of work to do tomorrow and only five hours to do it in because we have that appointment in the city.
Fairy: Right! You should check the train schedule. I’m pretty sure the schedule’s changed and if you miss that train then you’ll have to wait another hour for the next one and that will throw the whole day into chaos.
And so it goes. I’m up. The train schedule is checked, my hair is trimmed (badly), and a list has been made. The list will say things like “Buy eggplant. You should start eating eggplant.” Even though I hate eggplant.
And you’d think with all of this – on three hours of sleep – I’d be a trainwreck. Folks ask me all day how I get anything done. But the truth is I get more done in one day – even on days I spend half of it on twitter talking about how I dreamt of being the Lemon Goddess – than most people I know accomplish in a week.
I’m wired differently. I accept that. People think I’m crazy, and that’s ok. Because if they all leave me, I’ll still have the Thought Fairy. She’s crazier than I am, but I like her. She tells great stories.
I’ve tried to be the other kind of productive. The kind that meditates. The kind that tries to wind down. The kind who jogs (THAT was scary). And it didn’t work for me. People on Twitter sent me their free ebooks, and I read them, but that didn’t work for me either. Not because they weren’t good but because what works for one person doesn’t always work for another. Which is probably for the best. Otherwise life would be really boring.
Amy Derby is not a productivity guru. If she were, people would die. Instead she writes for lawyers, and that works out because most of them are crazy too.
16 Responses to “Midnight Conversations with Thought Fairies (or, Insomnia Meets Productivity 2.0)”
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That’s a very good reminder - to find out what’s sensible for oneself regarding to productivity.
Ulla Hennig´s last blog post..Five Things you might want to Know about Me
How funny.
I totally pictured the whole thing as I read it.
I keep a notebook with me at all times for these situtations. I have been criticised for not using it enough; something I need to work on is getting everything written down as I have a terrible memory.
Amy, I often suffer because of visits from the Thought Fairy. I don’t enjoy her as much as you seem to, so I’ve figured out ways to quiet her down.
If you’re interested you may want to check out my post on treating insomnia. Because sleep is good.
Hey Alex and everyone! Thanks for having me (and the Thought Fairy)! We’re very happy to be here.
Amy Derby´s last blog post..Hump Day Reading for the Restless Soul
Hey Amy
I like the fact you found your voice and helped the Thought Fairy find hers too.
J.D. Meier´s last blog post..My Favorite Personal Development Books
Hmmmm…. This is the most interesting - and awesome - thing I’ve read in a while. The only question floating around in my head is this: what does the thought fairy look like? Or, is she invisible? And lemon poisoning? Oh, joy…
Michele´s last blog post..Help Naomi Dunford Fight Domestic Violence
Thanks JD!
Michele, in my mind she looks like Cathy… from the funny papers.
Amy Derby´s last blog post..Hump Day Reading for the Restless Soul
This was a funny read! I can totally picture Amy as the Lemon Goddess. The crown would totally rock.
Karen Putz´s last blog post..Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
Actually, Amy, that makes total sense. I can see her as the Thought Fairy - especially in your head. Thanks for letting me know… Love it!
Hope you had the bestest holidays!
*smiles*
Michele
Michele´s last blog post..Help Naomi Dunford Fight Domestic Violence
@Ulla
I love when great messages come in great stories, eh?
@Andy
I’ve never been able to maintain a notebook. Good for you for being able to!
@Maria
I find when I call it “unnapping” instead of insomnia it helps. If a nap is time asleep when we’re normally awake then an unnap is time awake when we’re normally asleep. And if naps aren’t bad, then neither are unnaps and therefore I don’t need to stress about them.
@JD, @Michelle & @Karen
How lucky for us that Amy’s voice is so entertaining, eh?
Great post, Amy.
Do you think your thought fairies would talk to me? I conk out within seconds of my head hitting the pillow, almost any time of the day or night and I’m hoping your wakey-wakey is contagious.
Mer — I will gladly lend her to you any time, in exchange for your ability to drop off into a sleep-coma. Hm… I’m wondering if that trade could work. Hehehe.
Amy Derby´s last blog post..The Difference Between Fame and Importance
Am I late? Oops, I am. So-rry.
Amy,
Great guest post. I’m worried that your thought-fairy may just have given my thought-fairy ideas about when we should trim the hair, but other than that I loved the post.
LOL about why you aren’t a productivity guru.
You are an awesomeness guru, though.
Thanks, Alex, for letting Amy loose here!
Regards,
Kelly
Great post - very entertaining. The Thought Fairy makes frequent visits to my house too, but she must come after she visits you, my Thought Fairy visiting hours are from 3:30 AM to 5:00 AM. Just in time to get good and sound asleep before the alarm goes off. Oh well, I do some pretty good thinking during that time, even if I am exhausted for the rest of the day.
Adrian´s last blog post..Upcoming Messy Mom’s Classes
Kelly — Hehe. Sorry about that! My Thought Fairy frequently takes field trips during the three hour window during which I’m sleeping…
Speaking of which……
Adrian — Yeah. It happens. I sleep from 3am on (sometimes), so that window does make sense. Ha! So sorry.
(That’s when I do some good thinking too! Scary, eh?)
Amy Derby´s last blog post..The Difference Between Fame and Importance
I wish the Thought Fairy would trade places with the Bed Monger that comes into my room at 4AM (disguised as my 2 year-old). Seems fighting away thoughts would be much more productive and entertaining that fighting away flailing elbows and cold toes.
I think I’ll get myself a notebook and pen to keep my bed to prepare for the Thought Fairy’s visits because I’m hopeful that she’ll hear my plea and visit me sometime soon (she USED to, so I know she knows the way!)!
Brianna´s last blog post..Starting with a Thankful Heart in this New Year