Since we’re wrapping up the inaugural Lab-Rat experiment, I wanted to find out what changed for the Lab-Rats as a result of the experiment. Next week we’ll do the final wrap up.
I wasn’t at all surprised by the responses. The Urbane Lion who pretty much lives someday-free had very little to say. Brett, who was already well on his way towards achieving his dreams added a bit more, as did Sal for whom this experiment confirmed that he’s on the right path.
Crista had the most to say on this topic. Of the four Lab-Rats, her life is in the most upheaval (she joined the experiment just as she was about to go back to school, causing a major change in family routines).
So, with any further ado, let see what the Lab-Rats had to say in answer to the following questions:
One thing for sure, these exercises have allowed me to reflect on my accomplishments and give myself some well deserved taps on the back and also allowed me to identify some of my weaknesses. I now know what areas of my life I need to work on.
I also know that I am not alone and that helps getting rid of the self pity.
To your simple question, comes a simple answer - that is not so simple, if you dig deeper.
Rather than simply urgency of thought, I feel urgency of action.
In other words, not just talking the talk, but more and more walking the walk. I can actually see what was once a someday becoming a today, in the not too distant future - and a lot of it seems to have been unfolding in the last couple of weeks. It is very exciting!
As to why - seeing what you did by example, knowing that I can do it too - I think that’s the key. Interacting with someone who has done it, and with other people who are in the middle of doing it.
It has been a very worthwhile exercise.
I would have to say that the biggest thing that has changed is that I am now quite a bit further in my freelance career. Since starting this experiment I have become a more frequent blogger and have started to team up with a few individuals to work on bigger projects.
It seems as though I have taken that large step instead of those little tip-toes which would have gotten me nowhere fast. I am now hurdling through some of the stages and it looks as though 2009 is going to be a big freelance year for me and I look to be able to bring in at least half of what I am making in my current job.
Things are unfolding more quickly than I can even imagine. Alex, your experiment to get us out of the someday syndrome is a complete success in my life. I am looking back at where I would have been now, had I just continued down the same someday path I was on. I am so far ahead of that now, the line looks like a dot.
I don’t know if this week’s exercise was a simple one - it took me two weeks to actually put my thoughts on paper. It has been a wild ride for me the last three months. I left my family for three weeks and re-discovered a little bit more about who I am, I returned to school full-time and I spoke my “somedays” out loud.
My greatest someday challenge is “I will get around to it someday”. Somewhere inside, I had a false assumption that as a mother (and wife), I was obligated to put everyone else’s needs and “somedays” ahead of my own. In fact, I would literally tell myself, I will get around to it someday, when the kids are older, when my husband isn’t busy at work, when, when, when… I always had an excuse.
I realized this when I first came across Alex’s blog and volunteered to be a Lab-Rat. This is part of the reason I volunteered.
There are two weeks that stand out for me. The first was the Pooh-Bear exercise where we were asked if we were too optimistic. Writing that post was a reality check for me because I realized I did indeed use optimism as an excuse for not making decisions. I continue to be an advocate of optimism, but since writing the post, I have been very aware of my tendency to avoid making decisions and procrastinating because of it.
Writing about procrastination and why we choose to be unhappy really had an impact on me as well. To think that fear could be masqueraded by optimism was a bit of an awakening. But then to think that I, Miss Optimism (as a friend calls me), could be procrastinating on life because deep down, I didn’t think I really deserved happiness, was challenging to accept.
I realized that I was postponing the things that made me happy and optimistically told myself, “Someday I will get around to what I really want.”
Guess what? This wasn’t making me happy, it was making me resentful. I confronted some of my fears and made decisions I had been delaying for years.
Has it been a fun journey? No. And Yes. The process of digging deep and inviting change and discomfort into your life is never fun. However, the relationships you make along the way, and the rewards of getting through the challenge are incomparable.
My self-talk has changed. I have begun to create more boundaries around my optimism. If I seem too hopeful for too long, I ask myself the tough questions, including, “What does Crista really need and want?” I am also more aware of when I am delaying my own “somedays” for others.I still do it, because I think that is part of being a family, but I am putting a voice to some of the somedays I have, not only those of my family and friends.
Participating in the Lab-Rat experiment has been life-changing and I look forward to following the next Lab-Rats!
One Response to “Measuring the Changes: Lab-Rat Wrap Up Part 1”
Leave a Reply
Please join in the conversation and leave a comment - I’d love to hear from you!
var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www.");
document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));
I just had a chance to read everyone else’s responses, and I’d like to thank Alex for giving us the opportunity to learn a bit more about ourselves, and to meet a bunch of great people.
I know I’ll be keeping in touch with this first graduating class and I hope that the next bunch will have a similar experience. Well, I know they will - and I look forward to following along.
-Brett
Brett Legree´s last blog post..viking fridays - the system is broken.