Ever since her guest post on Sunday Syndrome, you had to guess that I was going to get Karen Swim here in the Someday interview series, no? Karen helps people find the right job as well as finding the right words for others. Let’s see what she had to say about her own experiences with Someday Syndrome.
Who: Karen Swim from Words for Hire
Karen is a problem solver who combines the art of storytelling, the science of marketing and the tools of technology to help companies and individuals connect with their target audiences.
Name one moment in your life when you threw a pity party for yourself and the reasons why you felt you weren’t able to achieve your goals. Were you feeling stuck? Had you felt you failed? What wasn’t working in your life?
I never do anything in the right order so I had a pity party about not being able to have one. I had already gone through the worst - losing a best friend to Leukemia, my husband to brain cancer and his youngest brother in the space of a year. I took 2 1/2 years out of the work force with no income, went back to work for 1 year then begged to be laid off. Yet, it was months later that I had a pity party because through it all I had never fallen apart. I thought it was some master plan to make me suffer by making me strong.
Even our worst behaviors fulfill a need in us or express our desires. When you threw yourself that pity party, what did you hope to gain? What need did you fulfill?
As I look back, it was probably an internal cry for a need to self-nurture. It wasn’t a pity party that I needed but an acknowledgement that sometimes life stinks and it’s okay to stop and care for yourself. I fulfilled a need to put a ### on that part of my life and start a new chapter.
Tell us what you did to break up the pity part. What actions did you decide to take? Did someone help you buoy your spirits? Push you along?
I laid on the floor and threw a tantrum which made me laugh because it was so ridiculous. I then put on my big girl pants and prayed. My faith has always been a source of strength and I was able to once again be thankful for that and also for all the wonderful love and support I received so that I didn’t have to fall apart!
Can you look back on that moment and tell us how you felt when you did decide to take action? What results came about from your decision to take charge and move on?
It was definitely a new beginning. Instead of resenting my strength, I counted it as a blessing and it fueled me to start my business.
Everyone has a Someday problem hiding deep inside, even little ones. What variety of the Someday Syndrome do you currently harbor? What would you like to achieve but haven’t yet?
I would have to say Someday My Ship Will Come In syndrome. I have to fight the fear that is always looming that tricks you into waiting for perfect conditions before sailing. I would like to be able to give away a million dollars a month to help those in need. I have not yet been able to hit the revenue milestone to do that.
Examining your Someday Syndrome problem, what are you currently doing to resolve it and eliminate it from your life?
I am ignoring fear and allowing myself to fail out loud. It’s not always pretty but I am moving forward.
Many people suffer the same problems you do. You’re not alone, and neither are they. What would you tell people in your situation right now to help them avoid what you’re going through?
Life, timing and most importantly YOU will never be perfect so do not allow fear to hold you back from reaching for your dreams.
If you could ask for one thing, right now, to help you overcome your Someday Syndrome, what type of help would you ask for?
A million dollar mouthpiece like Oprah or EF Hutton! Other than that people who will dust me off when I fall and hand me the sword and shield when I need to slay the demon of fear.
19 Responses to “Coming at it backwards: Karen Swim interview”
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I’ve got your sword and sheild ready, m’lady!
Great interview, Alex!
Jamie Grove - How Not To Write´s last blog post..Salted Spring Fever and Hot Wax Zombies: Where Twitter and Old Posts Meet
I love Karen Swin, such a talented woman. I can’t believe she lost so many important people in her life in such a short span. She has done a great job of pulling herself up and working hard to succeed.
Sometimes we need to throw a tantrum to get all the emtional build-up out. I like that Karen admitted this and wasn’t afraid to tell us.
Karl Staib - Work Happy Now´s last blog post..30 Days of No Complaining – Wisdom Multiplied
@Jamie, with your sword and shield there is nothing too big for us to conquer!
@Karl, you are my go-to happy source and I love pointing companies your way telling then to “see, read, do.” In spite of perpetual happiness syndrome, once in a while a good tantrum can totally rock! :-0
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Someday is Today
Karen, you know if I had to try and explain why social media mattered, it would be for this reason: it connects me with
“people who will dust me off when I fall and hand me the sword and shield when I need to slay the demon of fear.”
Thanks for being such an important one for me, oh superwoman!
Joanna Young´s last blog post..Audacious Faith in the Future
“Someday my ship may come in.”
Karen is more like those tugs I used to watch on the river steering those ships, not content to wait for them, but going out to meet them.
….And kickboxing their bows in the right direction.
Janice Cartier´s last blog post..Magnolias, Gucci, and Talking to Aliens… Maybe
@Karen
“I laid on the floor and threw a tantrum…”
LOL!
Sorry, I’m not laughing at the situation you were in. I’m sorry for your loss.
But when I look at where you are now, and how you have your act together, and how you write such heart-felt wisdom…and then I picture you screaming on the floor like a little girl, it makes me laugh. (…KAREN???)
Because you see…a tantrum is exactly what I would have done too!
It’s nice to know, I’m not the only one!
Friar´s last blog post..A Wonder of Nature
@Joanna, I do believe I will frame your comment as it so aptly describes why social media matters for me too. xoxoxo
@Jan, hugging you firecely (but not in a creepy way).
@Friar, I laughed as I read your comment because truly it was hysterical. Whatever you’re imagining, totally true, and even in that moment you would have fell over in laughter watching me.
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Love is Not on My List
[...] Alex Fayle was kind enough to interview me. You can learn my deepest, darkest secrets over at Someday Syndrome. If you have never visited Alex’s blog, stick around and read how others have broken through [...]
Karen,
The tantrum got me, too. Very hard to imagine, but I’ll bet it was theraputic!
Failing out loud is such a great phrase. I was explaining to my daughter how being willing to fail sets you up to get better (we were talking skating but it works in any situation), when I remembered you using that phrase a week or two ago. When you’re brave enough to fail out loud, you’re stretching your abilities enough to succeed out loud, too.
Alex,
Thanks as always!
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog post..Amazon Amazes Me Again
Though it may seem silly now, I bet that tantrum was just what you needed at that moment. A release.
Many folks (I count myself in that “many”) go through life “holding it together” when really what we need to do is let it out.
There have been a few times in my life when I’ve climbed to the top of a hill and screamed at the top of my lungs.
No words.
Just emotions.
I can probably count the number of times on one hand.
But I’m glad I’ve been able to do it.
Brett Legree´s last blog post..viking fridays - a story of give and take.
Karen: I think a tantrum suits you, and I wasn’t surprised at all. I think of tantrum-holding people as strong-willed and passionate, and for those types of people, holding something in or trying to deal with it in a more controlled way can be agony, just too difficult.
There’s nothing wrong with a tantrum every now and then. Howl at the universe if you have to; just know your place in it, and try to deal with things with poise and grace otherwise.
It’s all my own advice for myself.
steph´s last blog post..Yet Another Reason I’m Glad I’m Vegetarian…
@ Kelly, I can fall apart with the best of them. I once sat down in Macy’s shoe department and cried, and not because of the prices.
Yet, I pride myself on decorum, and pulled out my nicely scented linen hankie. Quite a site I’m sure but hey Tim Ferris advocates lying down in public!
@Brett, you know so true Brett, We don’t have to fall apart often but knowing when it’s the right thing to do is just the right release. If you ever need to lay on the floor and bawl, I won’t tell!
@Steph, you are so astute! You are so right about passion, and I never even considered that angle. I’m pretty zen with my passion but when it’s time to blow, stand back.
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Someday is Today
[...] Coming at it backwards: Karen Swim interview at Someday Syndrome [...]
@Jamie
How gallant!
@Karl
I too was surprised and saddened by so many losses all at once, but am inspired by Karen’s decision to live a positive-focused life.
@Joanna
Exactly - the best support I get for my business dreams comes from my connections through social media.
@Janice
I love your description of Karen - she’s totally someone who helps guide others, having made the journey herself a few times already.
@Friar
The image of Karen kicking and screaming on the floor is a humorous one - I too smiled when I read it.
@Kelly
Blogs definitely help with that failing out loud. I regularly fail (and get better at) clearing out somedays, which can only make me better at guiding others through the process.
@Brett
I’m a pretty sensitive person (as if anyone didn’t know that) and the world regularly overwhelms me (about every three or four months). When that happens I need to have a really good release of some sort or I’m impossible to live with. Usually it’s a cry over something silly, but laughter to the point of not breathing will also work - any strong showing of emotion to let them all go.
@Steph
Yes, those who throw tantrums are usually very strong-willed people who are frustrated that they feel powerless in the moment. Very true.
Alex,
Thanks for interviewing one of my heroes.
Karen,
Thanks for sharing your heart and your story.
Lillie Ammann´s last blog post..Guest Post: Building Your Writer Platform Online by Jennifer Mattern
Karen,
Great interview,
I think the ability to be true to our emotions is a source of strength, even if that emotion is a temper tantrum once in awhile! It’s when we say that’s it, I’m not going to live like this anymore that real change starts to take place.
I know that your faith is a huge part of what turned you around. You are a bright light out there Karen. I’m glad we are firends.
Wendi Kelly- Life’s little Inspirations´s last blog post..Inspiring Tips to Solve Procrastination for Good
@Lillie
Karen is pretty awesome, eh?
@Wendi
I agree completely - to be able to acknowledge and choose to experience our emotions instead of being a slave to them is very important.
Alex/Karen,
Having never personally experienced the extent of loss with which Karen had to deal during the time period which she mentioned, I cannot claim to understand the extent of pain and suffering which she must have had to endure.
That said, based upon what Karen has shared about the experience both through this interview and on her own blog, I must say that I am inclined to agree with Karl in that her efforts to deal with her emotional pain have been extraordinary given the extent of the personal tragedy with which she has had to go through.
Andrew´s last blog post..Thoughts for a nation in shock
@Andrew
I cannot comprehend it either, but like you I am in awe of the fantastic attitude Karen has towards life.