Recently my head has been all chaotic trying to understand selling and marketing. As much as I love doing this blog, and helping people, if I’m going to continue, the blog needs to the basis of an income-generating business.
However, I’ve always felt icky about selling, like I’m pushing rampant consumerism on people.
Fortunately I have some great mentors in this. James from Men with Pens and Naomi from IttyBiz have provided awesome advice (Naomi’s advice will appear next week here on the blog—stay tuned).
This ickiness over selling has caused a whole lot of procrastination and been a major source of Someday Syndrome for me. I don’t get around to making the blog an income generator because it would mean facing something I’m uncomfortable with and Someday Syndrome infections always like to stay comfortable.
Taking my own advice, however, includes facing the fear directly and studying why I feel icky about selling. I’ve realized it’s all about how I look at services I buy versus my own services.
I happily pay James to do copywriting because I’m not good at it and don’t want to take the time to learn to be good at it. I am very good, however, at figuring out how to cure Someday Syndrome. But instead of seeing an opportunity to help others the way James helps me, I believe that if it’s easy for me, it should be easy for others. Selling the benefits of my Someday-busting skills, therefore, would be taking advantage of people.
Fortunately I’ve come to see the obvious double-standard I’m applying to myself.
And now I can picture the services I will start offering very soon as not icky selling, but as necessary services for people who don’t have my skill sets and don’t want to or don’t have the time to spend years learning them.
Weekend thought: What self-limiting double-standard are you applying to yourself?
19 Responses to “Do you double-standard yourself to death?”
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Hi Alex,
Your tweet brought me here and I was reading and nodding my head to everything you said. Like you I’ve been toying with the idea of generating income from my blog for a long time and that Someday Syndrome has grabbed me.
Like you I hate the thought of selling but also understand people’s need to buy information. I will watch you closely with your progress and hopefully this will kick my butt into gear.
I have taken the first step and created two eBooks over the last two days getting me into the swing of things. However, one is a free download (or will be soon) and the other is a for a friend.
Content generation is definitely not my problem, but marketing myself is in that regard.
Monika Mundell´s last blog post..Unsolicited Emails - Buzz OFF!
This is so relevant right now. As you’ll have noticed, I’ve finally woken up to the fact that what I do with friends and others who come to me privately for advice about writing and creativity could be a business.
I had really assumed I wasn’t “a real writer” because the way I write and play with Amnar is not remotely like the descriptions of the big writers and their agonies over putting pen to paper.
I was talking to a friend yesterday who is really struggling to write her first novel, and when I began to describe what I do and how she might do similar things, she was amazed. She was the one who said I should do this professionally, because really she’d never been able to find somebody or some source of advice that didn’t make writing seem painful.
So suddenly I’m talking to people and getting advice and support, and know exactly what I want to do. I had assumed there was no value in what I do when people call me suddenly and say they’re in a panic and don’t know how to handle a situation, and I tell them how to write a business email or present a case to a client. It’s natural for me to know how to manage business relationships, how to be uber-creative. So I forgot that for other people, it’s a big deal!
The other wonderful thing about the conversation I had was that it made me start to challenge that idea that I’m not a writer because I’m not agonising over it!
Joely Black (@TheCharmQuark on Twitter)´s last blog post..Me? A coach? Seriously?
Twiffid: Do you double-standard yourself to death?…
This article is among the most clicked articles on Twiffid right now……
Alex,
All work, no play is no way to live a wholesome life, and it certainly looks as though you have a great deal of fun over there - good to see!
Personally, my biggest ‘double standard’ has been my limiting beliefs about going into business as opposed to staying in the comfort of a regular paycheck.
I have always wanted to go into business. I have watched others do it, and think that they were making a great move, but I have always questioned my own ability to do the same. I have become an expert at selling myself on why I can’t do it.
Andrew´s last blog post..Employee rights and responsibilities part 10: Same work, same pay
RIGHT ON Alex! I SO agree. I’ve been charging way too little for my “techno-organize” consulting. Two good friends/mentors just about choked when I told them how much I was charging.
BUT I’m the same as you. It is EASY for me, I wouldn’t pay more than what I charge so I can’t see charging more for that service.
Thanks again for helping me on my someday syndrome. Off to buy some L’Oreal….because I’m worth it!
Abrasos!
Very cool!
Here’s another concept. Once you come up with your prices, you’ll probably need to raise them. Not only is it sometimes hard for us to actually charge for what we do (I relate to that) but it’s also easy to charge them too little . . . since that’s how much we value them.
Terry Heath´s last blog post..Three Ways to Make Your Inner Critic Neurotic
LOL! I see this is a common theme.
I studied graphic design in college. I worked in the industry for several years. After being laid off, I tried freelancing, but had trouble setting prices at “industry standards” because I felt they were too high.
I knew that most people think that as long as they have a PC and certain paint packages, they can desktop publish it themselves. Never mind the fine arts backgrounds and technical tweaks that I’ve learned, and that it’s harder than it “looks” like it should be to get a file to output for 4-color printing. I know how to make small adjustments that spell the difference between a professional-looking flyer and an amateur effort.
I know I’m always trying to find a bargain. Well, mix that up and you have my issue. Why would anyone pay ME to design a basic flyer for them, when they could spend that money on Paint Package at Big Box Store and do it themselves?
JB´s last blog post..Can You Identify Your Goal in 5 Words or Less?
Double-standard… *ahem* No, no, none of that here…
“Dude. You need a vacation. Come on. 50 hour weeks?”
“Well, how much do you work, James?”
“Uh… They said there would be no math. This sounds like math.”
**
“Dude. Come on! You can do this! You need to start investing in you!”
“Well, okay… Hey, what are you working on right now to invest in you?”
“Uh… Is this math? I really think it sounds like math and there wasn’t supposed to be any.”
**
“Dude. You need a holiday. A day off.”
“No kidding. When was your last holiday?”
“WTF with the math? Is this math?? Cut it out, man, I HATE math!”
James Chartrand - Men with Pens´s last blog post..Are You Doing What You Do Best?
Alex, glad you’re getting your head round this. It’s one of the biggest challenges facing bloggers who enjoy the participative, generous, learning, sharing, dimension of what they do… and then try to work out how to make that into a business.
One way of separating it out - most of your regular readers and commenters are not going to be your paying clients. They’re you’re fans, those who’ll support and encourage you, and spread the word (and enjoy the free advice).
Their / our comments, links, and support will make it easier for your future clients to find you.
Joanna Young´s last blog post..10 Things I’ve Learned About Writing and Tenacity
I triple everything everyone said especially you, Alex. I’ve wondered if I should bother with information products like everyone says you should… but really… how many ebooks are there on writing, freelancing, etc. How would mine be any different?
Is that double-standardizing or what?
Meryl Evans´s last blog post..Get in the Mood for Love
I’ve been in a similar situation myself and considering the best way to proceed to make income while still keeping a certain sense of respect in regards to what I do.
I certainly don’t want to be the type that pushes products on people.
Exactly! That’s your key point.
Glen Allsopp´s last blog post..Visualization: 4 Mind Tricks to Change Your Life
Alex,
As far as selling through the blog, Joanna said what I would have. Most of your regular readers and commenters are not going to be your paying clients. But, they are the critical element—those fans make vaguely interested parties stick around long enough to click on your “hire me” links.
I do double-standard myself all the time. Shh… in dating. “Well, I’ll enjoy a night out with you, but why would you want to go with me?” Small world here, so I don’t get asked too often but as awesome as I think I am (yep, and humble, too) I always wonder why anyone else might think so!
Dating is sales, too. There’s a lesson here, I think.
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog post..Announcing the MCE Round Table
This was very thought-provoking, and very timely for me as I ponder the possibilities of a new blog which would potentially be of interest to a lot (but not all) of my current readers.
Joanne’s and Kelly’s comments are especially helpful, as I was concerned that my readers would take offense if all of a sudden it seemed like I was trying to make money from them when that was never part of the relationship before. Now I understand that I need to approach it differently - that those readers are probably not potential customers, but are likely strong supporters who can help attract people who may be.
Janet Barclay´s last blog post..How to Recognize a Malicious E-Card
Marketing and “selling” should not be seen as negative things. As long as you use respectful methods of marketing you should be able to increase your number of users without feeling like a crook. Provide value and you will receive compensation for that value.
Hi Alex - I love the pics - is that a usual night out for you then? My parents live part of the time in Spain and I could not keep up with their late nights when I went there.
I’ve noticed in the past on Twitter that you beat yourself up quite a bit over your own procrastinations a lot. But are you over-exaggerating that? You started running and you completed a novel - which is an awesome achievement. You can’t expect to be able to do everything at once.
Cath Lawson´s last blog post..Life Problems - Is It All Your Own Fault?
Hi Alex
I have exactly the same problem with marketing - feeling uncomfortable about “pushing things onto people”.
I am also stuck in a belief that “I don’t have those types of skills”. Maybe you have that too?
Juliet
LifeMadeGreat | Juliet´s last blog post..Would You Prostitute Your Blogging Style?
@Monika
I tell myself that if I focus on filling a need then the marketing becomes easier - people want what I have - I just need to let them know about it.
@Joely
As I said over on your blog, I don’t feel like a writer sometimes because I do agonize over the process. I look forward to exploring your services more as I know I could benefit from them - hey look at that! A need (mine) filled by your skills and you’ve let me know about it. Way to market!
@Andrew
Yes, my Someday Syndrome cure includes lots of playtime, even if I just relax at home doing nothing. I like how you say you’ve become an expert on selling yourself on not doing it. Let’s see if you can turn that skill on its head now and point it outwards to convince yourself you can sell (and in turn draw in lots of happy customers). Good luck!
@Jacki
I wouldn’t pay more than what I charge - you sum up exactly why I have a hard time charging for what I do. Fortunately I’ve realized that I’d pay a lot for things others wouldn’t dream of spending a cent on so I need to stop looking from my point of view and start looking through the eyes of my clients.
@Terry
I’ve thought about that too. I’ve decided to offer tiered services so that people can choose and I don’t feel that I offer my services at a rate too low or too high.
@JB
Because I’ve done the PaintBox logos and I’ve bought logos and wow! the difference in quality. I now always pay for graphics because the professional level graphics rock and everyone notices that difference.
@James
Yeah, we’ve talked about that. Any progress this weekend on any of those fronts?
(P.S. Math is fun!)
@Joanna
I had never thought of that before, but you’ve given me something to consider. Up until now I’ve offered a service to people who more or less know how to do it because by visiting the blog, they haven’t been looking for the paid help - but they’ve become fans and will act as my sales team to people who are looking for more detailed assistance. Thank you!
@Meryl
Walk into any bookstore or visit any number of personal development blogs and you will see a million and one products and services. I know what I offer is unique as I am the only Someday Guru that I’ve ever met. If you can find the right niche that no one else fills, then people will want your infoproducts and services for sure.
@Glen
Watching your blog grow so quickly, if you ever start selling your services in traffic and blog growth, you will not have any trouble providing a needed service.
@Kelly
The dating world offers a million opportunities for double-standards. I realized recently that I had a habit of thinking certain types of people “too cool” or “snobs” for doing exactly what I do when I go out. Crowds and loud music overwhelm me so I focus on the people I go out with, meaning if someone new speaks to me or to the others in the group, I don’t participate, likely branding me in their eyes as “too cool” or “a snob.”
@Janet
Not really, I know - but having people who have already seen the value of Someday Syndrome will definitely help build up customers from new venues.
I really like that idea that through the blog I have created an army of sales people who will do my work for me.
@Paul D
You make a great point here: value and compensation for that value - If I can internalized those two concepts I will stop fighting myself so much and just get on with it.
@Cath
We go to these sorts of parties about once every two months and it takes me two days to recover from them (even with not drinking much!). So no, not a normal night for me. I understand completely not being able to keep up.
I do have very high expectations of myself mainly because I know what I can do compared to what I actually do each day and I see where I could possibly make a change in my habits.
@Juliet
By “those types of skills” do you mean selling skills? Then yes, I do get stuck in that spot too, thinking that I can’t get clients because I don’t know the whats and hows of sticky marketing.
[...] may have gathered from Friday’s post about double-standards that I’ve been suffering from a kind of Someday Syndrome around my coaching services. [...]
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