This week’s lesson for the Lab Rats comes from Chapter 7 of the soon-to-launch ebook Someday My Ship Will Come In. In it we look at who and what our supports are and how they keep us motivated in pursuing our dreams.
I’m a very lucky person. I have a boyfriend who supports my dreams, even though I might not be earning as much as I could be. He knows I moved to Spain to realize my dreams and is my number two fan (saying things like “Move over JK Rowling. Alex F. Fayle is on the way up!”). Wait, number two fan?
Yes, because I’m my number one fan. After all, this is my dream that I’m pursuing. I have to be the most excited person about it. If I’m not I won’t ever realize my dream. It’s like on America’s Next Top Model where Tyra asks the contestants who they think will win and they don’t right away say “Me!” If they don’t believe they’ll win, why are they there?
However, I can’t keep up the energy all the time and sometimes I get fatalistic about my chances to get novels and other stories published. For those times I have a variety of support structures to keep me going. My boyfriend is one as are other friends and family members. I belong to an online writing forum which offers support, inspiration and continuing education, and of course there are all the social media outlets such as Facebook, Twitter and the blogosphere. I have enough income to support my writing goal, and when my health doesn’t let me work as hard as I’d like to, I pamper myself with television (like the Top Model or Doctor Who franchises).
As much as I would love to be the next JK Rowling, I’d be very happy publishing novels more or less once a year. At the same time, I also know that I might never get published and I’m okay with that too. I’m living the life I want and I don’t worry too much about the future. I think about it and plan for it, but I don’t let it get me down. I’ve learned to live in the now, with only the occasional peek forward.
When I start feeling down, or discouraged, I get a big hug from my boyfriend, chat with other writers, spend some time Tweeting, watch a little TV, and remind myself to take it day by day, living in the moment, and getting the most out of the journey.
My circle of support includes…
Unfortunately some people in your life may not be ready to pursue their own dreams and so may be dismissive of or hostile to your dreams. And sometimes, we ourselves don’t support our dreams. When either of these things happens, we need to have different types of supports in place to keep us positive and to keep us moving forward.
Take a look at the following areas of your life and to write down the supports you use to see the best and to keep going. Who are your supports? What little actions do you take to recharge stalled energy levels?
And as always, the Lab Rats did the exercise with excellent results. In fact, they did it so well, there’s no analysis needed – take a look for yourself (PDF file).
12 Responses to “Who and What Are Your Supports? Lab Rats Week 7”
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So true. I think my biggest supports are the fans of Amnar, and friends. They even listen in and if I sound upset on the podcasts or in any way a bit down, then I’ll get messages of support. They’re the ones who’ve kept me positive all the way through this.
Joely Black´s last blog post..Sample 2: The one with all the swearing
My hubby is my second biggest fan. He’s the one who keeps me going, he refused to let me quit at one point when I’d had enough. I don’t know that I could do what I do without him to keep me grounded. Our daughter’s pretty supportive too!
Other than them, I have my Coach who I wouldn’t want to be without - she kicked me out of my comfort zone earlier this year and I’ve only had glimpses of it since. Friends and other Coaches here are good for support too.
And online friends, they’re essential!
Melinda´s last blog post..The B.S. Funnel
Alex,
I love this post! Best example of loving yourself first: “I’m living the life I want and I don’t worry too much about the future. I think about it and plan for it, but I don’t let it get me down. I’ve learned to live in the now, with only the occasional peek forward.”
*big sigh* That’s perfect. 100% agreement here. I’m lucky to be my biggest fan. So many folks don’t get that.
Um, other support… family, pfft, except The Kid of course; boyfriend? on to-do list for this millennium; keeping fit is a big help in staying positive; friends—friends rock. Thank goodness.
Thanks for this one!
Regards,
Kelly
Alex, in loving yourself and pursuing your dreams you also provide support to those of us who follow you. I take great joy from your joy! When I read what you’re doing and celebrate your joie de vivre it reinforces my own pursuit of happiness. It’s funny, my husband was my second best cheerleader, his belief gave wings to my dreams. Although he is gone I still feel his love and support. Same with my mom, I still hear her voice in my head, and her loving encouragement will be with me for eternity. My friends are invaluable and of course my online community. Thank you Alex for living so joyfully and inviting us to play too!
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Life, Death and Dreams
@Joely
How awesome to have a such a support network built up - and people who care about you so much that they actually hear changes in your mood in your podcasts.
@Melinda
When my part-time teaching job laid me off due to lack of government funding, Raul told me: “Well now you have more time for writing.” which was about the most beautiful thing he could have said.
@Kelly
Friends do rock. And even when you’re not your number one fan, good friends will encourage and support you until you believe in yourself too.
@Karen
How good to still feel that support from the people who aren’t here with you any more. And I love sharing joy - it’s definitely infectious. It’s like being out at a bar or club and seeing a group of people laughing and having a good time - they draw others to them who want to share in the fun.
Great post as always, Alex, but I disagree with one thing you’ve said: “If they don’t believe they’ll win, why are they there?” Many people lack confidence, especially when they’re starting something new, and they need to try things they don’t think they can do just to prove to themselves that they actually can. Then, although they may not win, the fact that they didn’t make a total mess of it will help them to be more confident in the future!
Janet Barclay´s last blog post..OIVAC Rescheduled
Janet,
Darn. I was totally with Alex until you said that. Now I have a whole different perspective. You’re right, I’ve done that a million times myself… stretch beyond what I think I can do to see how it goes…
…but to contradict myself a bit, I think when I take on some way-too-lofty challenge, at the moment I commit to it, I do switch from “I wonder how I’ll do” to “I’m gonna rock this out.” So if you found me on ANTM (hahaha), I’d be there to win.
It’s a really good point. I’m sure that is why some of those girls can’t give a confident answer of “To Win”—they’re there to stretch their wings, and because through some twist of fate that’s probably still amazing them, they wound up there!
Until later,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog post..Why I Work So Hard
Kelly, I am actually going through something like this right now. I was nominated for an award, and had to complete a lengthy questionnaire for the selection committee. As I was filling it out, I was thinking, “This is a waste of my time; I don’t have a hope of winning this award!” but I decided to go through with it. After all, the person who nominated me must have thought I deserved it… Anyway, one more week and I will find out!
Janet Barclay´s last blog post..OIVAC Rescheduled
Good luck!
(Thinking about it a little more… I suspect I was born with just a little arrogance. Balances out my stubbornness quite nicely, lol, and makes it easier to be my number one fan!)
Kelly´s last blog post..Why I Work So Hard
@Janet & @Kelly
That’s a great way of looking at it - stretching out to something new. I guess it’s like when I send a query out about my book. I’m convinced that I’ll get a yes, but not to the point of being arrogant about it. I’m not destroyed when I get a no. But in the long run I know that I’ll get a yes at some point because my writing totally rocks.
Good luck with the award Janet - and yes you totally deserve it!
Kelly and Alex, thanks to both of you for sending good luck my way!
Alex, I’ve never read your fiction, but I love your writing and am looking forward the day you become a published author!
Janet Barclay´s last blog post..How to Take Powerful Before and After Pictures
@Janet
If you want to read something of my fiction, you can read a short story I wrote at: http://www.reflectionsedge.com/archives/index_jun2008.html