It Always Comes Down to Money
That’s not a judgment statement. It’s a fact. If we want to live in this world, we need money. The questions are how to earn it and how to spend it.
Most people think of these two questions in the order I presented them – earn then spend. But I decided to turn them around. How to spend my money and then how to earn what I need.
When I think of it that way, I realized that I actually need to earn very little. One of the main reasons I’m going nomadic and working on farms in exchange for room and board is money. If I cut out all those annoying expenses like rent and utilities, then I actually need very little. I can do quite well on what most people would consider a subsistence level income.
The only money I’ll need is for spending money during days off and to support things like my website, this blog and my car.
So, now for the earning part.
In the long term, I plan on my writing providing that, but a publisher offering lots of money for an unfinished first draft of a manuscript is not something I foresee in the near future.
I’ve been reading a lot about monetizing blogs (i.e., making money for writing this blog). The most common ways are to put advertising on the site, or to join an affiliate program (like Amazon). But since my blog encourages NOT to buy stuff then it would be pretty hypocritical of me to include advertising, no?
I am thinking of another way, a modern version of the patron of the arts, but haven’t really decided how I feel about it.
I’ll let you know.
Someday Lessons:
- By turning a standard way of thinking backwards, you might surprise yourself with new thoughts or courses of action.
- You have to earn money to live, just make sure the method matches your principals.
Unharnessed Energy = Not Good
Fantasy readers know that energy needs to be focused or chaos ensues. If I can’t keep my energy focused and productive, I will create havoc in my life.
I’m talking about men, of course. My Whirlwind Barcelona Boyfriend (WBB) and I don’t talk now. I didn’t mope (much). We had a good time together and my Barcelona experience was better for meeting him.
Nope, I didn’t mope. I got back online and started chatting again.
In fact, when I’m in Spain trying out the farm worker thing in February, I’m going to meet up with a new guy.
My goal while we wait to meet is to stop playing the "what if" game. "What if I meet him and I don’t like him or he doesn’t like me?" or "what if we really like each other initially but it turns into a disaster later?" or even "what if we end up dating and I want to spend the rest of my life in Spain?"
Many other questions pop into my head, especially after talking to Cate, whose own WBB experience has been so positive (he’s visiting her in March). But I force myself not to answer them.
So, what would happen if I did answer the questions?
Well, I’d live through the relationship right to the end thereby creating an unreal expectation. Since reality can never match what goes on inside my head, I’d damn things from the start.
And how does this relate to an easy, organized life? It’s simple. If I let my imagination run wild then I allow in too much chaos and that chaos messes up the emotions, which messes up my life.
I need to focus on simple questions, and focus my energy on writing.
Do I like him? Do I want to meet him? Yes and yes. Done. And now I’m writing about it.
Someday Lessons:
- Energy needs to be channeled or it will cause havoc.
- When your mind is cluttered, your space and your ability to juggle activities will suffer.
A Household Groove
A house is like a dance club.
Both have limited space. Both are constantly changing. And both work amazingly well when all things are in their place, both people and objects
Saturday night I was in a club that did not work. I enjoy dancing and when it doesn’t work, I get really angry. How dare my dancing be ruined?!? Sometimes I consider culling the human herd. I get quite inventive with my methods.
Some clubs don’t work because the bouncers let in too many people and there’s no room for anyone to move. Other clubs don’t work because not enough people go and it’s very boring for those who do.
Then there’s what happened to me Saturday night.
It was a good size crowd, but they had no sense of dance dynamics. Dance dynamics involve the subtle awareness club patrons have of those around them so that everyone can enjoy dancing without jostling into each other.
I’ve seen a crowd so in tune with the dance dynamics that everyone did their own version of interpretive dancing without touching each other. Of course, it was a bunch of goth teens and banging into someone could have resulted in a revoked aloof-coolness status.
But at this club in Pau, there were no hyper cool kids, just a lot of drunken 20-40somethings dancing to bad English and French 80s pop tunes (although they did play the new Scissor Sisters - twice!). I was banged into and hit by errant arms and heads so often that I’m surprised I’m not bruised from head to toe.
The difference between a dance club and a home (other than the all over blank paint and strobe lights – hopefully!) is that in a club when the dance dynamics are off, your only choice is to leave, but you can choose to fix a home with messed up stuff dynamics. Stuff dynamics are like dance dynamics but they deal with the effects things in a home have on each other and you.
So, stuff dynamics quiz. Do things flow and intermingle effortlessly? Or, are you battered and bruised by them? If you answer yes to question one: good stuff dynamics. And if you answer yes to question two, bad stuff dynamics.
Someday Lessons:
- Organization can happen without planning; just pay attention to interactions.
- Disorganization can cause almost physical pain.
Happy Yet?
Really, it all comes down to happiness.
I’ve been reading Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project and I’ve realized that it’s all about happiness.
Happiness is the cure for Someday Syndrome: answer the question ‘What will make me happy ?’ then acting on it.
Happiness isn’t masturbatory feel-good gratification. Happiness is a deep satisfaction with life and a strong sense of self-worth. (Anyone else remember the 1970s Happiness Is… series of products? A little naked man and woman?)
Choosing to be happy is actually quite terrifying. Imagine leading a satisfied life. I mean really deeply satisfied. Pretty scary, eh? I’ve never been more afraid in my life than I am right now. I am pursuing happiness and it scares the crap out of me. Why? Because having exactly what you want takes guts to declare and even more to achieve.
Every time you say ‘Someday’ you delay happiness. You also deny happiness. I’m amazed at the number of people (myself included) who know what will make them happy and yet refuse to pursue it.
I was surfing the web and came across my biography for a writing group I used to belong to back in the mid-90s. My first line was :
Alex refuses to suffer for his art, so has to fit it in around work and social life.
Ten years later, I finally acknowledged that the suffering lay in NOT pursuing my art.
I’ve known that I’ve wanted to be a writer for 25 years. That’s a lot of unhappiness, self-imposed. How long have you been denying your own happiness ?
Well stop it. Right now.
Pursue happiness.
Someday Lessons:
- Happiness is terrifying.
- Don’t hide from happiness; embrace it.
My Choice, My Grief
Yesterday when I pulled the day’s theme out of my category pile, I read the words, looked at my two-person (ha!) tent set up in a small area of my apartment and nearly cried. I was so upset, I couldn’t write about it.
"Is it precious?" refers to those things that aren’t essential, things you don’t have to have to survive.
When I choose travel and new experiences over comfort and stability, I choose to give up precious things. I’m not going to carry with me the hutch that I bought here just because I think it’s really cool. In coming over to France, I wasn’t going to bring my piggybank collection.
Hutch or travel? Piggybanks or France? Easy choices, but I still need to grieve for the discarded options.
When we get rid of precious things, we prune roots. We dig down into our past and sever ties to events, people and places that no longer have meaning. We send out other roots, but every time we get rid of something that at some point was precious to us, we need to acknowledge it and grieve a little.
So, yeah, I’m totally stoked about giving up my apartment and traveling, but I’m going to shed a tear for the connections I’m severing while I do that.
The funny thing is that while I’m grieving for things acquired in France, I’m finally grieving for things I gave up in Toronto. My choices are finally catching up with me.
Of course, it could just be moodiness brought on by the arrival of snow here.
Someday Lessons:
- An emotional response to a decision may be delayed and triggered by something later.
- Sometimes precious things from the past must be discarded to fulfill new dreams.
Smaller than Small
My tent arrived today.
It’s small, supposedly a two-person tent. I put it together inside my apartment. Much easier than the heavy canvas tents we used to have growing up. I wouldn’t even mind doing it in the rain.
There won’t be any room in the tent for anything other than me (how it’s called a two person tent, I’m really not sure). So that means, everything else I own will have to go in the car.
So I looked at a car today.
Actually I peeked into a Suzuki Vitara that had a for sale sign on it. I’m always amazed at how little space SUVs have in them. The back seats when folded flat stick way up. And I checked online. The Vitara takes a lot of gas.
I think I’m going to go with the first car I ever had: a Renault 5 (a Le Car to Canadians). There are still so many of them on the road here, some thirty years old and running fine. The best thing about a Renault 5 is the lack of electronics. Any mechanic can fix it any where.
A very good thing for someone like me who knows nothing about cars.
I loved my Le Car back in Toronto (more than a decade ago!). It had so much cargo space. Plus it was just fun to drive.
When I travel between HelpX hosts, I’m going to be living in a compact car and a tent smaller than a queen sized bed.
I’m very excited! I look forward to the challenge of paring down my life to that little space.
I haven’t gone camping since I was a kid. Suggestions anyone?
Someday Lessons:
- Very small spaces require a lot of planning.
- Remember to ask for help when you don’t know something.
Let’s Get Connectin’
In September, I talked about how single childless people have it easy organizationally. A commentor added that she actually was more organized because she was dating. Her girlfriend’s visits meant she kept the house more organized.
On Sunday before my cousins came over, I purged the dis from disorder and ended up with an organized home only because I had visitors.
The same goes for my writing, and my blogging. When I tell stories just for myself, I don’t write them down. They evolve in my head giving me hours of reviewing pleasure. But if I want to share a story with others, I have to organize my thoughts and write down the story, committing it to a certain order.
And blogging. If I was blogging just for myself, I wouldn’t. A blog for one is a diary and I’ve never been good at keeping a diary. I blog because I want to share and to interact.
I’ve been very good at the sharing part, but not so hot with the interacting. As I said a few days ago, I don’t comment on others’ blogs much. So today I started up again, reading blogs and commenting on them. I enjoyed myself and I plan on doing it again tomorrow.
One thing I noticed about the blogs I really enjoyed commenting on. They were ones where the blogger acknowledged comments and engaged in a conversation with people.
So guess what? From now on I’m going to respond to every comment, because I want us to interact. I want to know who reads this. I want you to tell me about your challenges and your successes.
Tell me things! Share your stories! Ask me questions!
Together let’s create a Someday Syndrome community.
Someday Lessons:
- We all need community and community comes from making connections.
- What communities do you belong to and how are you connected to them?
Slacker Alex, Slacker France
Today you get two different thoughts forced together randomly.
Slacker Alex: I haven’t been posting daily and am totally slacking because, surprise, surprise, I’m too busy living in the future, making plans for life three months from now.
I have to let go of the future and get back to the present. I promise to post regularly again!
Slacker France: I was cleaning my apartment yesterday (to have my cousins over for lunch today - my first real entertaining) and lamented how much garbage I produce. In Toronto, I diverted almost everything. Toronto has an extensive recycling program and a green garbage (organic material) program. This mean I threw out maybe one grocery bag of garbage a week instead of one trash bag a week. I wish France had a better recycling program! I feel so guilty throwing it all out.
So now for a connection. What do Slacker Alex and Slacker France have in common? We have each lost sight of the right objective. I’ve forgotten to live in the now and France has forgotten to keep an eye on the future. Both of us are out of balance and we get rid of things in the wrong way.
I can change myself easily, but unfortunately there is very little I can do for France. I already buy as little prepackaged food as possible, so am doing about the best I can.
Someday Lessons:
- Some times you can do very little about other’s problems other than minimizing your own contribution to them.
- Look for connections between seemingly non-similar challenges - it will help you highlight things you can do for each one.
Everything is a Choice
And every choice has an outcome. If you don’t think about your choices, you get outcomes you don’t want. And then you start saying that you HAVE to do things, that the world isn’t fair, you hate your life and so on…
If your life sucks, you have the power to change it (see the P.S. below for exceptions).
Let’s look at a renovation project. Say you start to renovate your bedroom, so move into your office. You get part of it done then stop. You feel guilty about it and continue to live in your office feeling like a failure.
What you don’t realize is that you’ve made a choice. You’ve decided without thinking that the bedroom is not a priority. You have chosen to live in the office.
If you stop and think about it consciously, you might choose to finish the renovation, to move back into the bedroom unfinished (you actually kind of like the semi-demolished look), or you may continue to choose to live in the office for a variety of reasons. You don’t have enough money saved to do the bedroom the way you want it. Maybe work is short term stressful and you don’t have the energy for work and renovations.
Or you might realize that you prefer the office as a bedroom and vice versa. Then suddenly you whip through the renovations excited about the new office space.
Someday Lessons:
- Even if you don’t consciously do it, you continually make decisions that affect your life.
- Don’t blame yourself for unconscious decisions. Simply stop and make decisions to act or accept the situation.
P.S. Of course, there are some things that are thrust upon you and about which you have no choice (like an illness), but I’ve known many people who have been very sick and everything they do is a deliberate choice. At that point, they are forced to.
And then there are others who have disadvantages and systemic prejudice acting against them that severely limit their choices. To break out of these bonds is often more than they are capable of.
Tag, I’m It
Today, you get to learn five obscure things about me.
Friend/colleague, Monica Ricci, tagged me with a blogging meme (basically a blog-based chain letter). I’m supposed to tell you five little-known facts about myself and then "tag" five other bloggers. The problem is I only can think of three bloggers I could tag, and Monica is one of them.
I spend at least an hour a day reading blogs and other daily websites, but I’m a lurker. I rarely say anything. When it come to the web, I’m a "say something only when it will add to the conversation" type. And saying "I agree!" or "Lookin’ great!" does not add to the conversation.
I have another problem with this meme. I’m an open book. I tell everyone everything. The only things most people don’t know about me aren’t repeatable on a PG-rated blog (then again, most of my friends know that stuff too).
So, after digging deep, here are 5 things few people know:
- I was insufferably pompous in high school. I only saw art house films, disdained popular culture, and smoked More Lights (long thin dark brown American cigarettes).
- My word geekiness extends to PennyPress and Dell variety puzzle magazines. Many times I’ve considered a subscription.
- For all my love of food, my last meal would be at a diner: cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake (I’m thinking The Stem on Queen West in Toronto).
- My childhood dream careers were rock star, ballet dancer and/or acrobat (okay fine, they’re my adult dream jobs too).
- I almost did mathematics in university but University of Toronto only had applied mathematics at the time. And I hate word problems. Math is a language to me, why confuse things by mixing it with another language?
There, so,now I’m tagging:
- Cordelianne
- Janet Barclay and
- Anyone else who’s interested.
Someday Lesson:
- You can’t expect people to react to you if you don’t do or say anything to get them involved.
Simple is Not Easy
Really, it’s not. Simple is the opposite of complex; easy is the opposite of difficult.
For example, on Monday I help friends prepare concrete to lay the floor in the house they are building. The recipe for concrete is very simple:
- 4 buckets water
- 40 shovels of gravel/sand
- 2 35kg bags lime
- 20 shovels of gravel/sand
- Extra water as necessary
- Let the mixer turn until the right consistency has been achieved
- Pour into wheelbarrows and dump the concrete into designated spots.
Sounds simple, right? But do that 25 times and you find it’s not easy.
No, given how after this I fell asleep at 9pm on Monday and was a zombie all day yesterday (hence no post the past few days), prepping concrete is not easy.
So why did I do it? I mean, I’m the Easy Life Evangelist. Why do something that isn’t easy?
Because I want physical activity to become easy.
In my upcoming nomadic life, I’m going to be working hard five hours a day. In many cases the work won’t be simple either. Pruning trees or building a dry stone wall sound simple, but I’m sure they are very complex tasks.
I don’t mind that. In fact, I quite like complex. I don’t like difficult.
I’ve made a choice of lifestyle. I’m not going to need much. To most people’s way of thinking I’m going to be living a very simple life. I don’t care about that. I want an easy life. So instead of changing my lifestyle, I’m going to change my body and my endurance, turning difficult into easy.
Plus I’ll end up having a kick-ass body.
Someday Lessons:
- Don’t confuse easy with simple; easy can be quite complex too.
- Your life may detour through difficult before reaching easy.
A Someday Foodie
I tried, really I did. But I couldn’t help it.
I bought things today. Yummy things.
This morning I was up at 5:30 to go to the Anglet market with a friend who sells hand made soaps there. I wasn’t going to buy anything.
But of course I did.
It was all consumable though. A coffee, croissant, mini-quiche and courgette/chevre muffin, all eaten on site. And some gram flour, kamut spaghetti, and Indian chicken and vegetable things (in Canada I’d call them a pakora, but in France they call them donuts) for home.
I’m a sucker for good food. If I had more money, I so could have bought lots of neat stuff.
You see, I’m a someday foodie. I love fancy foods, and I’d be willing to call myself a gourmand, but I just don’t have the money for it. Already a good chunk of my monthly budget goes towards food, but if I were rich, I could spend LOADS more on the fancy stuff.
And then there’s the sharing part. I miss cooking for someone else. I don’t do that. I cook for me. And that gets boring. And my place (even with the table) isn’t set up for entertaining.
Oh hey! Yet another reason why I should become nomadic. I can offer to cook for my hosts as part of my room & board pay and really learn a lot more about Spanish and French (and Italian?) cooking.
Someday Lessons:
- You don’t have to spend lots of money to have a passion for something.
- Look for ways to combine interests to heighten both experiences.
Secret Pigpen Rendezvous
When I got home from my trip, I exploded.
Actually, all my stuff exploded out of my bags, everywhere. I like to claim my space and do so by covering it with my stuff. (It’s better than peeing on everything).
After being away for nearly three weeks, my place didn’t feel like home. So within half an hour, every surface including the floor was covered with my stuff.
Then I let it sit there for two days before tidying up (which took next to no time because everything had a place to go). And I created a pile of books to distribute among friends when we get together tonight.
I wonder how I will mark my territory when I go nomadic. I’ll be staying in other people’s homes, so I’ll be much neater than I ever am at my own place.
My car maybe (yes, I’m buying another car – at some point). My car is going to look like a disaster. Stuff is going to be all over the inside, and I’m sure the outside will constantly look dusty.
Maybe, I’ll try to keep the car tidy and instead book myself into a hotel every once in a while. This way I can explode in private and no one will need to see my mess.
Someday Lessons:
- If you have a messy side, let it out but give it limits.
- If everything has a place then messes tidy quickly.
Trip Photos Up
Over on the left hand side, you’ll see the "Travels With Cate" photo album has been added. It covers Paris, Barcelona, Sauveterre and Bordeaux (and places in between).
Enjoy!
Life as a First Draft
I take up too much space.
I’m like a bloated first draft of a novel. The ideas are all there and it’s good stuff, but I’m overwritten. I need to pare down, create the essential story then add back interesting details that give the story a full life.
I have too many things. I thought selling my house and getting an apartment would be enough, but it’s not. I still have too much stuff. I have appliances and furniture and kitchen gadgets.
I’m too comfortable. Too settled.
All I want are my clothes, my computer, a few books and some accessories (like cameras and toiletries). The rest just gets in the way of my story.
But like most authors about to go from first draft to edited novel, I’m terrified. It’s not a "Danger Will Robinson" fear, but a "what if I screw up" fear. What if I take what seems like a decent but over-written novel and completely muck it up?
I’ve been avoiding this fear by trying to find meaning in every experience. I’m trying to figure out which pieces of my life have the real-world equivalent of a cool literary device. But of course meaning can only be derived in hindsight, and often with a lot of spin.
So, instead I go looking for outside approval. I’m an insecure artist. I need approval for every action. I need an audience. But approval has even less to do with reality than trying to find meaning during an experience. So, I have to toss out my approval seeking and stick to the story itself.
I have two questions that really matter:
- What story do I want to tell myself (i.e., how do I want to live my life for me)?
- How can I tell that story as economically as possible (and not just in a monetary sense)?
The rest is all fluff. But letting go of that fluff still terrifies me.
Someday Lessons:
- What type of story is your life? A book of poetry, a pot-boiler, or a purple prose romance novel?
- How much space do you take up? Do crucial details get lost?
Now That’s Vitriol
So, I came across this article in the Toronto Star today, which led me to my colleague Monica Ricci’s post about the book in question (first chapter is here).
All I can say is: Wow! These men writing this book are bitter!
I find it very telling, however, that the two people writing the book are men. If you talk to most organizers, a great many of the clients in the residential market are women. And why? Because unfortunately women still bear the brunt of home organization, even if they work as much as or more than their spouses.
The funny thing about what I’ve read about this book (I’m certainly not going to support them by buying it!), is that many of the concepts they talk about are the exact things organizers support. For example, if you’re happy with your mess, then it’s not a mess. Or sometimes you can be too organized to the point that life is disrupted. Those are two things every organizer I’ve ever talked to in the US, Canada and Europe believes in.
I am appalled at how poorly researched this book was and wonder if it was published because it’s inflammatory and controversial.
Whatever the reason, it’s a very negative and damaging book, not just to the organizing industry but to those who are unhappy with the state of disorganization in their lives and want help.
Someday Lessons:
- Negativity and trash-talking might sell books and papers, but it never actually helps anyone in the long run.
- If you find yourself being negative ask yourself what is the real issue. You’ll find it’s likely not the thing you’re being negative about.
Gleeful Hand Rubbing
I gave notice for my apartment today, confirming that I will be gone as of March 31st (this isn’t what I’m gleefully rubbing my hands about – I’m actually kind of sad to go). Where I’ll go I’m not quite sure, but my parents are going to be visiting then and how could I deny them the pleasure of helping me move yet again?
(So here comes the hand rubbing…)
I GET TO PLAN!!!
Yes, that’s right. I have furniture and appliances to sell, a car to investigate, a credit card to pay off, working options to explore, cell phone plans to choose from. The planning possibilities are nearly endless!
Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Am I not throwing away five months of lessons about living in the now?
You’re right. These lessons have been very important. So, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll confine my planning to little bits done each day, like a dieter stretching a chocolate bar for a whole week.
Today’s piece of planning was to contact two places in Spain as potential trials for the whole nomadic life thing. I even got a response back from one (who’s unsure of her availability). That’s it for today. Tomorrow I’ll do some other small piece and savour it throughout the day.
I think I might be finally learning the concept of balance. I used to hate it and was always falling down. So I didn’t bother. I liked living in the extremes. I’d say that life is like quicksand, you want to stay in the extremes (the edges) or you’ll get sucked down and suffocated. (Good rationalization, eh?)
Well, with practice comes appreciation. Who knows, I might even get good at this balance thing someday.
Someday Lessons:
- Don’t deny your bad habits. Moderate them and make them good instead.
- Balance is very difficult to achieve, but it is worth understanding.
Lunch Today:
Rye crackers with slices of chorizo, tomato and a havarti-like goat’s cheese under the broiler, with a sprinkling of dill weed.
An Internal Conversation
Procrastinating Alex asks:
So what the hell does it mean to be a professional writer?
Sarcastic Alex replies with:
Oh, I don’t know. How about writing for more than half-an-hour a day? Or writing things for submission to contests and publications?
Procrastinating Alex brushes aside any seriousness:
Okay, I gets it. I gots to write more. And I gots to gets myself known.
Enthusiastic Alex declares (enthusiastically of course):
Time to turn words into actions! Time to write!!!
Procrastinating Alex gets the last word in:
I’ll start tomorrow. I promise!
Someday Lesson:
- Dreams and decisions mean nothing if you don’t make time for them in your schedule.
One of Too Many
I missed the blog-celebrity boat.
You know the one; it left a few years ago with the early adopters who navigated the blogosphere and tamed it for the rest of us.
Now I’m one of the millions who got on the regularly scheduled blog-ferry that takes the masses out into the known blogosphere.
I’ve just finished reading Julie Powell’s Julie & Julia, about a woman who decided to work her entire way through Julie Child’s first cookbook and blog about it. Within a few weeks she had strangers commenting on her blog. Within a few months she had fans sending her things through the mail and donating to a food fund to cover the costs of the recipes.
Then she appeared in local and nationals papers and on national TV. Finally after the project was finished, she was offered a VERY lucrative book deal. The advance was enough to allow her to quit her job and turn her husband into the lower income producer in the family.
At first I thought I was jealous of her, but jealousy is a very negative emotion and wishes to deny success to the other person. But I’m really happy for her and her success. And the book is a great read (I highly recommend it).
No, I’m not jealous; I’m envious. But only briefly. I wasn’t ready to do this blog or my Europe adventure in 2002. And I’m (mostly) not doing this for fame.
But if anyone does know of an emerging trend that could create that fame, I’m all ears!
Someday Lessons:
- Others’ successes can inspire or depress - it’s your choice.
- You can’t change the past, so don’t stress about it.
Ephemeral Travel
Cate’s gone. So I’m going out tonight to do exactly what we did the entire trip. I’m going out for dinner.
I bought next to nothing and yet spent LOTS of money - all on food. But that’s okay because good food is so worth the money spent, as is good wine and good cava (love cava - Spanish sparkling wine).
That’s it for today - I’ll be back to regular postings on Tuesday.
See you all then.
Someday Lessons:
- You don’t need to spend money on things - ephermeral experiences like good food and travel create much less clutter.
- When you don’t need much, there’s not much to say.
Edit: Okay I lied. I posted on Sunday and Monday too…
Five Months Gone
Cate leaves today. I’m staying in Bordeaux for a couple of more days to see some friends, then I’m back to Sauveterre and back to regular life.
I can’t believe that Cate’s visit has come and gone already. When we planned it in July; it seemed so far away. I’ve now been in France for almost five months. I have only two and a half months left on my apartment lease.
That just seems wrong.
I haven’t done enough yet! My French stills needs tonnes of improvement, my novel’s not finished (even first draft) and I haven’t even started the Someday Syndrome book yet!
But then again, I didn’t come to France to write a book (or books). I came to France to explore France and to realize a dream. In the time I have been here, I’ve made a decision to pursue writing as a profession, to become an author.
Not a bad accomplishment for five months, I’d say.
Someday Lessons:
- Time moves more quickly than we expect.
- Live moving forwards, not regretting backwards.
Whirlwind Barcelona Boyfriends
Our first day in Barcelona, Cate and I ended up with dates. Mine was pre-arranged via the Internet; Cate’s was a random pickup at a club (with awesome 80s and 90s music!).
We then spent the weekend with our Whirlwind Barcelona Boyfriends (WBBs), together and separately.
There’s no better way to see a city than with someone who knows it well. Cate and I aren’t touristy types – we don’t go see things just because they’re there. We like to explore a city and make it our own. Having personal guides with motorcycles (being a motorcycle passenger rocks!) allowed us to pretend that we live there.
Ha! Listen to me be all detached about hanging out with two sexy Spanish men!
Cate had to make the most of the situation so she packed as much public kissing as she could into her time with her WBB. Me, not so much. I’m a writer, I analyse emotions and I consider reactions.
In other words, I’m a neurotic freak of Woody Allen proportions.
My way of getting the most from my WBB was to ask a million questions, create possible futures and weigh them against past realizations. I vocalized some of this to Cate, who yelled "STOP!!!" waving her arms at me Kermit the Frog style.
"Do you like him?" she asked.
Yes.
"Do you want to see him again?"
Yes.
"Okay. Done." As in no more questions needed.
Who cares that I still enjoy being single or that I live in France and speak no Spanish? It’s enough to know that I want to see him again.
So why then doesn’t the internal over-processing stop?
Someday Lessons:
- The moment can’t be enjoyed if you’re busy creating the future.
- Habit and personality can really get in the way of logical actions.