I’d fallen out of love with my blog and was wondering whether I should shut it down, when on a whim I posted my blog name and tagline on Copyblogger’s Tagline Clinic. James replied right away and sparked a complete renewal of the blog. It’s now become the focus of my professional world. In other words, James rocks!
Who: James Chartrand of Men with Pens
James is an online entrepreneur and copywriter living somewhere in the forests of Quebec while exploring a personal goal of celebrity fame and fortune and finalizing a fiction novel in the works.
What variety of Someday Syndrome affected you the most? In what way?
I’d say “I’ll get around to it someday” is my biggest problem. Clutter with other obligations factors into that and so does “someday I’ll have the time for this”, but I think I tend to put things off in preference to other goals that seem to be more important.
I’d have to say that the Someday Syndrome still affects my life. I can think of a bunch of things that I’d like to do and that I’m working towards (like finally earning my degree), and it’s extremely difficult for me to think of a specific Someday that I’ve achieved.
I tend to have a bazillion desires and goals, with lots of new ideas coming up all the time. One thing gets pushed aside, another takes its place… My goals are in constant shuffle with no single one ever really being realized.
The funny thing is that I do achieve many goals – they’re just not ones that had been lingering in Someday form. They are often ideas that come to me that I seize on the spot, like creating a successful business or buying a house. I grab those and make them happen. No Somedays.
How did it affect the rest of your life?
I feel guilty about the Somedays that I do have that I haven’t realized yet. Finishing my education, taking guitar lessons, learning to ride a motorbike… those are goals that I want, but they’re not priority desires. They’re things I’d like to do but never have the time or the money or enough interest to apply myself.
One Someday I feel particularly guilty about is finishing the novel Harry and I are working on. Another Someday that affects me is the feeling of mild failure I have that I’m not keeping up with my studies or working as hard towards earning my degree as I should.
I feel I should be faster or work harder towards these goals, but obligations that are more urgent always get in the way.
How would you describe your happiness level at that time?
M’eh. I’m always happy. Life’s good. I think that when I dwell on my Somedays, I feel a little wistful that life isn’t as relaxed or free as I’d like. I can easily imagine myself enjoying my Somedays, but not attaining them doesn’t directly bring me down in a major way.
What changed? Was it gradual or did it come as an epiphany? Perhaps a mix the two?
Nothing changed particularly. I think the only change is that one day I decided enough was enough on two accounts: it was time to work on earning my degree and it was time to start chipping away at the work to do on the novel.
It was a combination of long though processes about the situation and a decision that, “Alright, it’s time.” No great epiphany, really, but more of a “I’d better do something about it or I never will and the time is right.”
What dream are you in the process of realizing?
I went through the University application process and began taking courses at a part-time pace. Unfortunately, life got in the way when I reached the point of earning half my degree and I’ve set learning aside for the moment.
I started working slowly on the novel recently when I realized that not only was I holding myself back from a dream but I was holding Harry’s dream back as well. It’s unfair of me to prevent someone else from accomplishing a dream.
So, the work is getting done, albeit not as quickly as I’d like.
I’m planning to take guitar lessons in the fall as well when the kids go back to school.
How would you describe your happiness level now?
Same as always – pretty happy. I’m in a good place all around, financially, businesswise, opportunity-wise, and in my life in general. Could I be happier? Oh sure. But I’m certainly not sad in any way, really.
What advice would you give someone in the position you were in before?
The best advice I can give anyone is to do a lot of introspection. Why do you want these things? How much do you want them? Are you holding onto something that you’ll realistically never do? Why are you doing that? Is it time to let go or time to figure out a way to change your reality?
When you aren’t afraid to look inside at what makes you tick and the real reasons behind the desires and inaction, you open up a wealth of information. It truly lets you know yourself more and feel better about who you are. You can resolve past issues, get over disappointments and free up some emotional space to put better things in there.
Someday Lessons:
27 Responses to “Connecting Desires with Actions: James Chartrand Interview”
Leave a Reply
Please join in the conversation and leave a comment - I’d love to hear from you!
var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www.");
document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));
Alex: Your someday lessons on this post are perfect, especially in light of my recent answers to your latest questions and about my passions…
@ James: I’m still writing that ebook on how to get published, and it’s still dedicated to you. It will be a gift for all your help and inspiration and I only hope it measures up. I do believe you can get published and I’d sincerely love to see you and Harry do it.
steph’s last blog post..I’ve Been Meme’d
Nice job, guys. I love it.
Very glad you didn’t shut the place down before I had the chance to find it.
Amy Derby’s last blog post..Wanted: Guest Bloggers and Success Story Interviewees
I think there is a difference between capital ‘S’ Somedays and small ’s’ somedays. ‘Somedays’ hold you back and weigh heavy on your mind. Like me really really not liking my 9-5 job, and wanting to write full time instead. Versus ’somedays’ which are more nice to haves, but no impact in the grand scheme of things. Like James taking guitar lessons. He already plays, and likely gets a lot of enjoyment out of it, so nothing holding him back there. The lessons would just increase the enjoyment. BTW, if that is a pic of you playing the guitar, James, then nice bicep! (Yes, that is the Panther openly flirting!)
Urban Panther’s last blog post..I dream
@ Steph - I’m glad to see you putting the advice I shared into practice. I’m sure you’ll do well.
@ Panther - Actually, playing guitar is a big Someday for me. If it was a little someday, I’d either do it or ditch the wistful thinking. In fact, when I have those somedays, I usually say, “Eh, I’d like to do that someday but I probably won’t. It was just an idea.” And that’s the extent I linger on it.
Believe me that wishing to play guitar more is as much on my mind in a heavy way as wishing to quit a nine to five job.
What holds me back? Myself. Life. Excuses
@ Alex - Thanks very much for interviewing me. You asked good questions and it took me a long time to answer these, so kudos.
@ Amy - Bah, let him shut it down? Hell no.
@James - then you definitely need to take those lessons. I finally took piano lessons, because I found playing was causing me frustration instead of pleasure. Took lessons for two years, got what I needed out of them, and quit. If I ever get reach a point where I get frustrated again, I’ll take lessons again. And I noticed you studiously ignored my question about whether that is you in the pic, although technically I did not phrase it as a question, so you could skirt around the issue. Note to self: ask James direct questions.
Urban Panther’s last blog post..I dream
@ Panther - Talk to Kelly.
(and yes, I work well with very direct questions. I’m also excellent at being the blogosphere mystery. Is it him? Isn’t it? Could it be? Maybe not? Hmmm!!)
Hi Alex!
Great interview and very interesting.
James, I really liked what you said about introspection and not being afraid to look. I think you’re quite right about that. I too, have a million and one things that send me off in all directions. Great insights.
Annie
Great interview, Alex - and great answers, James.
Introspection is a very powerful tool. I do it every single day, and usually at a deeper level on Friday nights (that’s just my night for it).
It works. And just because we think we are “there”, doesn’t mean we should stop. I am pretty happy too. To many people, I’ve “made it”, but it’s always good to check.
I’ve checked many times, and I know the truth for myself.
Tom Volkar made a great suggestion over at my blog for this - he said:
“Brett there’s another guy just like this one you can talk to and you know him very well. He’s your future self. The one who has already made the move and is enjoying the hell out of life. Just sit down with pen and paper and ask him what you want to know. He’ll tell you and he’ll probably ask you want you’ve been waiting for.”
Seems like a pretty good idea for anyone.
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post..viking fridays - raiding party.
Love the interview Alex. I like how James doesn’t let unfulfilled ambitions dampen his level of happiness. So many people beat themselves up over things they haven’t done and opportunities foregone.
I think his suggestion of introspection is the key. Why haven’t you done your someday list? Do you actually want to take the steps to achieve it or is it just something you hold out there as a way to feel guilty and less than?
I’ve had some goals that never happened because life got in the way and I made other choices. I don’t regret those choices so it occurred to me not that long ago that I should stop lamenting what I haven’t done and sit in the moment and ask “What do I want to do NOW?”
Sometimes it is just a matter of the right timing. You want to do these things but they are not your highest priorities today. I still think the best thing you can do here is relax into the knowledge that someday will come, and you’ll make it happen. It just won’t be today and that’s okay.
Kelly
Kelly@SHE-POWER’s last blog post..SHE-POWER Women: Monika Mundell is the Writing Chef
I came over here after Alex followed me on Twitter–and I’m so glad that I did! The Someday Syndrome is something I’m working to get rid of in my life, and after several years of talking about buying a jet ski, I bought one this summer. I’ll be sticking around here to read more!
Karen Putz’s last blog post..I Want to Live–Captioned Version
Someday - a very thoughtful concept. My “somedays” are buried right now in the start of school for me (teaching) and my kiddos, one in high school and one in college.
Daisy’s last blog post..Passive vs. Active
Alex,
Great questions as always. You get folks to dive right in to the depths of themselves with the “someday” issue. I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t reflect on it now and again, and I love seeing a fresh person’s take on it.
“M’eh. I’m always happy.” That cracked me up. I live like that. Sometimes I plan to feel bad that I hardly ever feel bad, I mean, I’ve certainly had cause… then I get over it.
Panther,
Fresh, indeed. Le Roi may never answer that question, if for no other reason than he thinks that he’s torturing me. Long story re: connecting with your readers—I say an author photo helps—gone completely silly, where James and I are both happy with it.
IMHO it’s a lovely model’s bicep, and I have dibs on the model because you are busy.
Psst… If you think the bicep’s nice, check out “Harry’s” tricep. Yum.
James,
I swear my ears were burning and I had to come read this post. Miss teasing me, huh?
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly’s last blog post..Summer Is a Great Time to… Get Some Intelligence
Alex,
An excellent interview on BOTH of your parts. I particularly love the statement: “The funny thing is that I do achieve many goals - they’re just not the ones that had been lingering in Someday form.”
It appears that Monsieur Chartrand has achieved quite a lot in his life - and certainly with the success of his blog. But I love the distinction between acting on short-term “goals” that one may not have recognized, as opposed to acting on long-term goals that require a large commitment (e.g… getting a degree, learning to play guitar.)
I believe that it is a part of human nature to “put off” those goals which require more time and commitment than short-term goals, which are much more easily attainable. Those short-term achievements should not be minimized, however. I believe that EVERYBODY needs both short- and long-term goals. Overcoming the “Someday Syndrome” goal by goal is an achievement in itself!
Thank you,
Rita
Rita’s last blog post..George Washington, the Cherry Tree and Learning “Frum” the Quiz - Part I
@ Rita - Sometimes the goal isn’t one that requires much commitment at all. We tend to hold ourselves back out of fears that we’ve built in our own minds, and they’re often ones that aren’t very realistic. Of course, we’re too scared to break them down
@ Kelly - I’m hurt. All this flattery and you’ve come to believe that I couldn’t possibly have an arm that sexy and had to hire a model? Hurt, I tell you. *sniff*
@ Karen - I want to try your jet ski
@ Kelly - Introspection *is* key, and that’s something so many people avoid like the plague. It can be incredibly discomforting to ask ourselves hard questions or look inside at dark places we’re rather forget existed.
But I fully believe that the payoff is worth it. The benefits of exploring ourselves and going through some momentary, temporary upset definitely outweigh the discomfort.
The good part is that once you’ve faced an area within your life and overcome the obstacle it’s been creating, you feel better across many levels and for good.
@ Brett - I’m lucky. My favorite question is, “Why?” Asking that of others and of myself has taken me a very long way in life.
Hop on, James! There’s nothing like the thrill of nudging the throttle up to 60 mph across a glass lake! If you fall off, the landing is a little softer than off a motorcycle.
James,
Yep. The photog style says “stock” to me. Sorry. But I’d eat the arm right off the model if I saw him walk by. Delish. How’s that for flattery without flattery?
Later,
Kelly
Alex and James thank you so much for sharing these great insights. James, I think what I loved most is your balanced attitude and ability to truly enjoy life now. I absolutely relate to seizing the things that are most important to us. I think everyone will have a “want to” list that takes lower priority; it keeps life interesting.
Alex, I too am glad you found James before deciding to close up shop, otherwise I would not get the enjoyment of being a field-mouse, er I mean lab rat.
James, Thank you for sharing. I have been a big fan since I started writing and it is nice to see that even the people we put on stands go through the same things we do. I know this sounds very cliche but it is nice to know that you and Alex are human…sometimes.
Sal’s last blog post..Action vs. Reaction
Hi Alex and James - what a great interview. It sounds like you’re really trying to do lots of huge things at once James - I’m not surprised you’ve got bogged down. Both the degree and the novel take up a lot of time.
I’ve done a similar thing to you - doing part of the degree, then stopping to work on the novel and back again. I’ve finally decided that the novel comes first. And I’m looking forward to reading yours when you’re finished it too.
Hi Alex,
Thanks for this interview with James. It’s nice seeing him from this perspective. I’m used to seeing SUPER JAMES! Oh, I know he isn’t perfect but I like seeing this side of his personality too.
Right now what rings true for me within his words is the introspection. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately.
I think getting quiet and true with yourself cuts through a lot of bullshit.
Alex - this was a great interview. Great questions you posed.
James - I was impressed with the answers you gave. You have some Someday Syndrome, but you still find happiness with the present.
Urban Panther - I really liked how you differentiated “Somedays” (capital S) from other types of “somedays”. I agree!
Al at 7P’s last blog post..The Criminally-Minded Approach for Achieving Goals
[...] Alex Fayle [...]
@Steph
I’m so glad the blog is helping - it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
@Amy
I’m very glad I didn’t shut it down either - it’s now one of the most exciting parts of my life.
@UP
Yes, Somedays and somedays are quite different. My summer someday list from the other week were all small-s somedays.
@James
Glad I made you think - I figured turnabout was fair play.
@Annie & @Brett
I agree that introspection is key to fulfilling dreams. Without knowing yourself, how can you know what will make you happy?
@Kelly (of the SHE-POWER)
So many people (myself included) tie happiness to external things. I love that James is happy with his life even while he knows there are things that he wants to do but hasn’t got around to yet.
@Karen
Welcome! Jetskis look like a lot of fun - just don’t fall off of it while doing 60mph, okay?
@Daisy
Welcome to you too! That’s one thing I notice - parents will create somedays for themselves while they raise their kids - I’m too selfish for that (hence why I’m childless) but I admire people who are willing to do that. Maybe there’s a way to mere the two somehow - fulfilling dreams slowly while raising the kids? Hmm…. Thoughts people?
@Kelly
When I set up the interview series, I decided to ask everyone the same questions for two reasons:
1) I wanted to be able to compare answers and
2) I wanted to see how people would interpret the words.
And I’ve loved the responses I’ve been getting - everyone has been so open and honest.
@Rita
Human beings are so short-term thinking, aren’t we? It’s all about the instant gratification, no?
@Karen
James does seem to have a good balanced attitude on life, doesn’t he? That’s probably one of the reasons Men with Pens is so successful.
@Sal
Human? Me? Well, I suppose if I *have* to admit to being so…
@Ellen
I love your line: “I think getting quiet and true with yourself cuts through a lot of bullshit.” Poetry!
@Al
Thanks! I too am amazed at James’ ability to be happy while still having unfulfilled parts of his life.
[...] I asked James and Harry of Men With Pens to participate in this series, they immediately recommended Akemi. After [...]
[...] of them; Kelly Erickson from Maximum Customer Experience is another. We’ve already heard from James about his own Someday Syndrome, so today it’s Kelly’s [...]