Last week in my post about wallowing, I said that I’d write up a summary of the answers to the post over the weekend. Then given my state of procrastination, I didn’t get to it until today. So here goes…
Of the eight participants (Steph, Leona, Brett, Crista, Suzanne, Friar, Karen & Kelly), everyone allows some sort of wallowing to happen (glad to know I’m not the only one). Steph allows it but only when she’s totally overwhelmed and hates the feeling. Leona and Crista look for what the funk is trying to tell them. Brett either attacks the problem (like a good Viking) or tries to distract himself. Suzanne gave up trying to deny wallows and like Karen now indulges them, fully experiencing the emotions. Friar gets overwhelmed by things out of his control and lets them get under his skin. And finally, Kelly channels the negativity into something else.
As for getting out of a funk, Kelly, Karen, Friar, Crista, Brett and Steph all indulge, usually with the help of (loud) music, books or fast cars. Like Karen, I give myself a time limit on a good wallow, such as the length of a CD, then I get up and do something, like Kelly does. Suzanne and Leona get themselves out of their funks by going introspective and getting to the root cause of the funk. Some of the others do this as well (like Crista), but only after indulging the funk first.
And finally, the triggers for pity parties are:
I’m a mix of all of the about and given these responses, I’d say that most of us can avoid pity parties if we can:
Someday Lessons:
As for the winner of the book – that would be Steph! Yay! I’ll be in touch to get your address from you.
Finally, now that my week of procrastination week is now over, you have just a couple of more days to sign up for free to the Cure Someday Syndrome email workshop.
10 Responses to “Isolation and Expectations: The Wallow Roundup”
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Woohoo! Good for you, Steph
Brett Legree´s last blog post..summer’s end.
Brett: unfulfilling work
Friar: unfulfilling work
Panther: unfulfilling work
Odd that all three of us work for The Factory in one form or other. Odd that. Really, really odd.
Speaking of which. Yo! Bro! Sign me up for your follow up Workshop. I’ll take the first copy please!
Panther,
Maybe you, me and Friar should start our own Factory! We’ll call it the “Happy Factory” or something…
(Okay, everyone stop laughing, it won’t involve prescription meds…)
If you want a good laugh, though, you should read some of the emails Friar & I send back and forth, using Newspeak from 1984… we’re getting pretty good at it and could probably claim it as a second language somehow!
Brett Legree´s last blog post..summer’s end.
Congrats Steph! Alex, have I told you that each time I come here I just want to hug you! Do you really understand how valuable you are? You have this way of reaching out from across the miles and giving me just what I need. I always leave feeling better about myself. That is such a gift. My gosh, I am so thankful that your journey led you here. Thank you Alex, thank you!!!
Karen Swim´s last blog post..Paralyzing Perfectionism
Alex,
Neat to see how much we have in common, though we may face different issues. Today was a heck of a day for me, I’m going to leave my brewing funk behind now by throwing every solution I can at it. Thanks.
And congrats, Steph!
Regards,
Kelly
Kelly´s last blog post..Doin’ It Better Than Ever in B2B
Thanks, guys! And thank you, Alex! I responded to your email this morning. Pretty excited here; I can’t wait to receive it!
I don’t think you could be more right when you talk about going easier on ourselves. I expect the world of me. The very best. It’s why I’m always disappointed in some way. I mean, yeah, I’m not perfect. DAMMIT!
But fighting that does lead to a lot of wallow-worthy situations.
Also, having that support group of friends and family really helps. And recognizing that I am not a victim and can indeed determine the outcomes of things. That helps, too.
It’s not easy, but sometimes the worse things get, the better I am to deal with them, because they’re almost funny in a morbid sort of way. What happens is they get so bad I have to relinquish control, and when I do that, BAM! I’m suddenly able to cope because I’m allowing my emotions and whatever else. It’s not the things themselves but how I deal with them. And getting pissy or wallowy or angry or victimized actually only perpetuates them.
I like what Leona and Crista do: find out what their funk is telling them. Talk to it. It’s very Havi.
steph´s last blog post..What I Know for Sure, No. 2
@UP
Could it be because the Factory loves red-tape and you three are non-tape people?
As for the workshop - like last time you’ll be my guinea pig so you’ll get it as I write it (which I’m working on, really!)
@Brett
I would consider going back to the 9-5 world to work at a Happy Factory! It reminds me of the toy factory in Toys (with Robin Williams).
@Karen
You’re making me cry again (and pumping my ego up so much I’m bumping against the ceiling!).
@Kelly
Glad the post helped deflect an oncoming funk.
@Steph
Ooh, victim. I can do that one! It’s a fun role to play out because you’re never in the wrong (because you’re always in the wrong, if that makes sense).
Alex,
I’m still laughing at what you said about cubicles over at Steph’s blog… about the only thing that seems to come out of the cubicles where I work is, err, the same thing that would come out of the cubicles you mentioned there
If we do make our own Happy Factory, you’d be a valued addition to the team.
(Hmm. Maybe we *do* need to make a Happy Factory…)
Brett Legree´s last blog post..summer’s end.
Alex - I am definitely working on being easier on myself. Not surprisingly, it’s working.
Thankfully, the will to wallow doesn’t overtake me too often, most likely because I’m doing a better job of not engaging in the activities or situations that make me want to wallow in the first place.
Interesting how different we are in what we do to get past one.
Suzanne Bird-Harris | vAssistant Services´s last blog post..DIY SEO: Step 4 - Keyword Density