Today I turn 40. A few years ago, just before I left Canada to pursue my dream of being a European writer, I saw my forties approaching and felt nothing but dread and disappointment. I wasn’t anywhere near any of my dreams. I was merely coasting along.
Now that I’m actively pursuing my dreams I see turning 40 as exciting and wonderful.
Other than a chunk of years where I detoured into the world of autopilots and unhappy comfort, every year of my life has been better than the previous one, so I look at aging as something to celebrate!
And how to do I know that each year life is getting better? Because periodically I do a Someday Check-In and see exactly how far along I’ve gotten in each of my three major goals.
1. What’s my Someday?
Becoming a published fiction writer with a book a year coming out.
2. When do I want to complete it?
By 2026 (started in 2006 with a twenty-year plan).
3. What are the big steps to get there?
(((write something)edit + submit)repeat)repeat=success
4. What am I doing right now to move things forward?
Submitting finished novel
Finishing the first draft of a second novel
Finishing the outline of a third novel
Doing a workshop and writing a novella for it
5. How much progress have I made since starting?
Published two short stories
Wrote a novel, which reached quarterfinals in a contest
Wrote more short stories
Worked fiction writing into my daily routine
6. Anything missing?
An agent and a publishing deal, but I’m okay with that because everything is moving along bit by bit and they’ll come. After all, I still have 17 years to go in this plan.
1. What’s my Someday?
A full roster of clients supporting my lifestyle and funding my retirement
2. When do I want to complete it?
By August 2013 (it generally takes five years for small business to become established and I started this one August 2008)
3. What are the big steps to get there?
Build reputation
Develop and set up services
Market, market and market some more
4. What am I doing right now to move things forward?
Writing a second ebook
Providing teaser services to draw people into the programs
Providing tester while developing new services
Editing ebook
Marketing through my blog and newsletter
5. How much progress have I made since starting?
Reputation continues to grow
Developed services and launched them
Have a few clients
Launched first ebook
6. Anything missing?
Patience – I see how long it takes to build a business and I get discouraged at times, but I keep at my actions and see progress (albeit in slow motion) and keep going.
1. What’s my Someday?
To be in good physical shape and not experience food-related pain/tiredness
2. When do I want to complete it?
Ongoing
3. What are the big steps to get there?
Train physically using tangible goals
Improve my nutrition
4. What am I doing right now to move things forward?
Working on the one-hundred pushups challenge
Starting the two-hundred situps challenge
Including more fruits and veggies in my diet
5. How much progress have I made since starting?
Have run two 10km races
Did a severe cleanse last year that achieved my ideal body weight but it was too severe to maintain
Almost halfway through the pushups challenge
Have stopped smoking altogether (yes I continued to be an occasional smoker up until a few months ago)
6. Anything missing?
Missed the sign up window for the 20km race and lost some enthusiasm for it
Allergies forced me to stop running during the summer
Lack the passion to stay away from wheat, sugar, fried foods
Weigh more than I want to
I could beat myself up about the continued problems with my diet, but the reality is that I get along okay. Yes, I’m not in top form, I’m 10lbs heavier than I want to be and I tire easily and have bad allergies, but I don’t worry that much because I’ve learned that when things really matter to me, I find just the right train of thought to turn whatever I’ve been struggling with into the easiest thing in the world.
It just takes time to find it.
Your turn – how well are your Somedays moving along?
15 Responses to “A Midlife Check-In”
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This is a good exercise. I won’t go into detail here, but maybe on your Accountability Forum. To summarize though:
1. a loving, stable, respectful relationship - Big Check Mark on that one!
2. a job that I am passionate about - partial check mark on my 9-5 job situation; 3/4 check mark on Freelancing assignments
3. income to supplement an early retirement - start of a check mark
4. healthy diet & exercise - partial check mark
Happy Birthday! You birthday present is my book review of your eBook.
And I assure everyone that I took an unbiased approach, despite Alex being my baby brother. As a matter of fact, I probably approached his book with more of a critical eye, because of our relationship. So, my enthusiasm for his book and worksheets is genuiune.
Eliza´s last blog ..Book Review: Someday My Ship Will Come In by Alex Fayle
Great exercise, Alex! I would say:
1. Commit to writing every day, whether through my own blog forum or personal journaling (check! but sometimes I have to push myself).
2. Commit to a fitness plan (absolutely no check. I’ll need help here, especially with a lot of global travel).
3. Make friendship time a priority (medium check. I’d rather spend time cultivating relationships with my friends than working out, though maybe we can combine the two…).
Hope you had a great weekend!
Laura - The Journal of Cultural Conversation´s last blog ..3 People Making the Cultural Conversation Happen
Alex, I used turning 40 as the prompt to turn my life upside down, and all I can say is… your 40s are full of excitement, wonder, opportunity and gifts if you make the decision to look for them and go for it.
As you have done, and inspire others to do.
Happy, happy birthday x
Joanna Young´s last blog ..How to Thank Your Twitter Network: A Follow Friday and a Half
Happy birthday, Alex - and congratulations on the progress you’ve made towards realizing your dreams, and your commitment to making them happen.
I’m not doing so well on the vacation thing, but have scheduled a weekend away with my husband next month and one with my sister or a girlfriend in October, so that’s something. I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve only read the first lesson in your Freelancer Vacation Clinic; however, I have begun working on my SOP, which was another thing on my someday list, and having that in place will put me in a better position to think about vacation next year.
Janet Barclay´s last blog ..Time Management Project, Step 2
@Eliza
I’d say you’re doing really well. And thanks for the book review - such a nice birthday present!
@Laura
Yay to the pushing - if you keep pushing it’ll become a habit and then you’ll miss it when you don’t write.
Good luck with the fitness plan. As you can see above, that’s my big challenge too and good idea about mixing fitness with socializing!
@Joanna
I’m a big fan or turning life upside down. It’s amazing to collect all the loose change you didn’t know you had.
@Janet
Yay to the mini-vacations. That’s actually one of the vacation clinic lessons - practicing time off with short excursions until you’re comfortable with longer ones. Enjoy the weekends and yay to getting around to the standard operating procedures.
Happy birthday Alex!
40 is an odd landmark. There’s such a cultural baggage surrounding it that we feel we should make something of it, it should be monumental, significant, grave. I’ve noticed my peers and friends have mostly been puzzled by it. “This should be significant. Something should happen.”
But the 40 boundary is such a product of earlier times, when we died younger and (perhaps more importantly) declined much earlier. Now, 40 is nothing, as long as you’re moving forward.
Best of luck for the next 40.
Hi Alex: Happy belated birthday. You’re right that it’s not the passage of time that’s regrettable, it’s not applying that time wisely.
@Horatio
It is such a strange date, like we’re supposed to have achieved our success by this point and then just coast (or build) from here on in and if not then we’ve done something wrong. I feel like I’m barely getting started! (and that’s a good thing!)
@Marelisa
Exactly - there’s a period of my life that I didn’t apply time at all wisely and while I don’t regret it (I wouldn’t be here now if I hadn’t gone through that blah phase) I do my best to try avoid ever getting into a similar situation again!
BTW thanks for the bday wishes from all of you!
Hi Alex:
Happy birthday and great post. I hit 40 a couple months ago and did not go through an extensive evaluation like this. Great idea. I had hoped to do something in honor of hitting 40 - something athletic like a long distance bike ride or run. A few days after hitting 40, I got laid off and that thought has temporarily been put on hold. I will likely shoot for an endurance bike thing in September. However, my biggest task is to either find a job or create a job I’m really passionate about. I’ve lived too long to settle for a job that’s good enough and will just pay the bills. I like your blog title/topic because I have lived much of my life putting things off into the future. Well I’m running out of future…it is time to live now!
Tim´s last blog ..National Mustard Day
@Tim
Sorry to hear about the layoff! Yes, the time to live is now - good for you for taking the time away from work to figure out exactly what you want! And good luck!
Thanks for a great post and happy belated birthday! I’m 32 and definitely having that feeling of “shouldn’t I have done something with my life by now?” I’ve started working on one of my somedays - doing professional musical theater - by going back to school and making connections in the local theatrical community. But I think I’m going to borrow your checklist format to map out my somedays better. What a great idea!
@Leslie
Wow! Good for you for taking the leap and going back to school. Good luck with the change in direction and please do borrow the checklist - it’s free for the stealing!
[...] wrote about this in a midlife check in If we don’t run a spot check every once in a while things can start breaking down and we [...]
Loved this analysis and will do one for myself! A great discussion.
Cece
Cece´s last blog ..Cookies Can Cure Cancer?
Thank you! This helped me to settle down and take a breath and work on some somedays re: my health. This outline was extremely helpful! Did some journaling and thinking/planning.
cece
Cece´s last blog ..Cookies Can Cure Cancer?